Why do i keep getting hassle for this even though ive explained to people :(?

MissZero

New member
Hello I was unable to breast feed my son. He was born prem 7 weeks early in the nicu ect.. I never got skin to skin and I couldn't breastfeed due to my medical condition. Yet I still have power trippy mothers saying how I'm a terrible mother... But I don't think I am my son is almost 6 months was formula fed now were weening solids which is fab. But people are still making me feel bad :(
 
Don't ever let them make you feel like that! You are not a bad Mum. Your son gets fed and is starting on solids so he is obviously healthy and loved. People like to push their views onto others without a thought or care for the real cirumstances. They see the bits they want and make snap judgements without knowing all the information. My daughter was full term but we had complications and she ended up in the Special Care Baby Unit and it was touch and go for a few days. When she finally was allowed to start feeding we tried breastfeeding but we had had no skin to skin and she struggled so in the end I was expressing milk for nearly 8 weeks and it was exhausting and gradually my milk started drying up and we had to do half and half on formula until she was on formula. I had the same experience with health care professionals raising eyebrows and frowning their disapproval. It made me feel awful until I had enough. I did my best but sometimes it doesn't work out. You have tried and it wasn't happening because of a medical condition. Ignore the ignorant you are a good Mum, don't allow them the satisfaction of doubting yourself.
 
Sadly, there are many women who can get down right nasty when it comes to formula fed vs. breastfeeding. Especially in the case of a preemie as breast milk is highly superior for a preemie than any formula could ever be. However, there are many moms in your case that aren't able to as much as they would want to. There are some that can that shouldn't. My son was born 7 weeks early as well ( I was in a horrible accident a few years before that, hit head on by a drunk driver with my hips fractured leaving me in a wheelchair for sometime. So, when I reached that far into my pregnancy my hips couldn't take the weight) and while I was spending time with him in the NICU I noticed a woman breastfeeding her preemies. She smoked and was taking prescription pain killers. I think formula would have been a better choice for her. You were never able to have skin to skin? This was something my NICU strongly pushed whether or not you were planning on breastfeeding. I'm also not aware of your whole circumstance either and there may have been good reasons as to why. My heart goes out to you. I know how excruciating alone it is to have a little one in the NICU. I can't imagine having backlash to deal with on top of it. Glad to hear your little guy is doing so well. Mine just celebrated his two year birthday last week and he is doing great. Much different than the frail guy in the NICU. If you're a good mom you and your son will both know and that's all matters,
 
Nobody can make you feel bad except for yourself.
A prime example. My husband can walk by the sink full of dirty dishes and it doesn't bother him at all. Although if i walk by the sink of dirty dishes I feel guilty until i do them.

If you truely believe that you can't breastfeed due to a medical condition or even if you just didn't want to breastfeed or if you did try and you just didn't make enough milk. Then that is it. The story ends.
With parenthood everyone is better than everyone else. You just have to let it go. Don't let it bother you.
 
Some people think anyone can breast feed and therefor you should.
Just ignore them. If you and your doctor think baby is doing well, then that's that.
 
tell them to get off the high horse!!! i didnt breastfeed (my milk didnt kick in til 4wks after the birth). u could always point out flaws in their parenting (a friends kept being high and mighty about it, until i said well at least i dont dump my child in a nursery at 4wks!!!)

dont feel bad
 
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