I believe that when you do something good for someone, the compensation is that you were there when your help was needed and nothing more. If I give someone a decent birthday present, I do not expect one for my birthday.
When I borrow money from someone, I pay them back eventually, but there is this underlying pressure that I need to return the favor.
This is especially present with my mother. I am in debt with my student loan, which went to collections because I moved and they did not get my new address and now, they want a lump sum paid by the end of the month. I HAD to turn to her for it, even though, I know she will expect me to return the favor.
But get this...when my grandfather died, he left me $15,000 which I was unaware of, and this was spent on a mortgage without my knowledge and I had to take out a loan...if I knew, I would have paid for school. So, it's time for her to pay the loan back...and she's really asking me to do a lot for her, and help her move. She said to me, "you have to help me a lot since I am paying for your loan"....I was surprised and I said to her, "I have to owe you my life because [of money that was meant for my tuition was used without my knowledge?"...and she got so pissed and said I have nothing but poison coming from my mouth.
All my life, I just feel FORCED to return these favors and I really do not know when I am even with someone, unless I ask.
I just wish I did;t need anyone's help so that this cannot be added stress in my life. Do you know how this is like? Please help...I do not know what to do.
James: That's exactly what i tell them. Did I not say that I expect nothing in return? Maybe my mother has something to do with it?
When I borrow money from someone, I pay them back eventually, but there is this underlying pressure that I need to return the favor.
This is especially present with my mother. I am in debt with my student loan, which went to collections because I moved and they did not get my new address and now, they want a lump sum paid by the end of the month. I HAD to turn to her for it, even though, I know she will expect me to return the favor.
But get this...when my grandfather died, he left me $15,000 which I was unaware of, and this was spent on a mortgage without my knowledge and I had to take out a loan...if I knew, I would have paid for school. So, it's time for her to pay the loan back...and she's really asking me to do a lot for her, and help her move. She said to me, "you have to help me a lot since I am paying for your loan"....I was surprised and I said to her, "I have to owe you my life because [of money that was meant for my tuition was used without my knowledge?"...and she got so pissed and said I have nothing but poison coming from my mouth.
All my life, I just feel FORCED to return these favors and I really do not know when I am even with someone, unless I ask.
I just wish I did;t need anyone's help so that this cannot be added stress in my life. Do you know how this is like? Please help...I do not know what to do.
James: That's exactly what i tell them. Did I not say that I expect nothing in return? Maybe my mother has something to do with it?