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Author: Jason Garoutte
There are many homeless people out on the streets of the large cities
in this great nation. When unemployment still hasn't gotten near zero and
new jobs are being created every day, people are starting to ask why there
are still homeless people in the alleys and on the sidewalks of this
country. This seems to be an ever haunting problem even though it would be
so easy for homeless people to just get a job. Let's look at the general
requirements for applying for and keeping a job. All you have to do is
have nice clothes to make a decent impression, a home address and some way
to be reached in tight situations, and a way of getting to work in the
morning or night--whichever the case may be. That's it. And I, for one,
have reached a solution to this widespread laziness.
First of all, most homeless people spend their days hunting through
trash cans and dumpsters for a piece of sustenance or at least something of
value. If they're not doing that, they're begging for spare change on
street corners. Eventually, one would think that they should be able to
afford a couple of respectable suits or other outfits to wear while
applying and even working for this job of theirs. All they have to do is
poke around a little longer or beg a little more, and that job would be
theirs to enjoy. Keeping these articles of clothing clean would be
difficult, but manageable. If you can't afford a coin operated laundromat
(I'm sure there'd be plenty of left over change from begging), just find
some large, clean puddle of water in the street to wash things in. As for
cleanliness, I'm sure people throw away left over deodorant or
antiperspirant, soap, and other such toiletries to where you can care of
the bathing problem. You don't need to clean your hair, in fact, doing so
would rid yourself of the natural oils that build up over time and actually
hold your hair style in place.
Second, with all the left over money and such, they could go to one of
those Mailbox Etcetera stores and buy themselves a mailing address. That
just means they'll have to cope with eating only what they find in the
garbage, and not spending any of that extra cash on that frivolous fast
food, or that healthy vegetable stuff. Suppose they absolutely need a
phone nuraber also. What's stopping any of these people from sleeping close
to a pay phone? Just record the nuraber on the back of your hand (unless
you have some nice paper on you) before you head out to the job interview.
And if you really want to impress the boss, give him the nuraber of the pay
phone nearest your favorite begging corner or alley, just in case they
can't get a hold of you at the first nuraber. None would be the wiser.
As for the commuting, all one would have to do is make sure the pay
phone isn't too far from business. Better yet, sleep in front of the
business, near a pay phone, so you can also respond to any requests
promptly and efficiently. It would also give you much more time to sleep
while waiting for that first paycheck. Now that you must take care of the
job and the finding food and drink in the same twenty-four hour time period,
you need all the sleep you can get. Having to commute through miles of
busy sidewalk would make you wish you hadn't opted for a home away from
work. All this being on-time and showing up so early would be sure impress
the boss, especially if he already wasn't impressed with your feat of
scrounging up the resources to hold this special occupation.
Now if all this doesn't impress your supervisor, I don't know what
will. I know I'd be impressed after learning the amount of time this
homeless person took just to get a reasonable outfit to show up to work
with, the hours of begging just to get bus fare to another part of the city,
and the humility endured to actually work up the nerve to ask someone
fortunate enough to have some spare change in their pocket if they can
spare some so that person can get a bite too eat. By now I would hope that
any thought that I've been serious about any if these aforementioned ideas
has vanished: this is a satire. I'm not sticking up for every single
homeless person on the face of the planet, for I know there are quite a few
willing to spend any available penny to get that next crack rock to smoke
or that last fifth of whiskey to drink. The thing is, there are a lot of
people and even families willing to work for less than minimum wage if
someone were to just give them a chance. But most of us look away in shame
and ignore the person offering to wash our winRABhield for any spare change
we may have. I think scholarship programs need to be started to help these
people. Not a lottery where any crack fiend off the street can get the
opportunity to work, but actual screening and testing to try to see just
who is willing to take that extra step out of the pit. This is a problem
that cannot be ignored any longer.
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[FONT=tahoma, arial]WorRAB: 932 [/FONT]
Author: Jason Garoutte
There are many homeless people out on the streets of the large cities
in this great nation. When unemployment still hasn't gotten near zero and
new jobs are being created every day, people are starting to ask why there
are still homeless people in the alleys and on the sidewalks of this
country. This seems to be an ever haunting problem even though it would be
so easy for homeless people to just get a job. Let's look at the general
requirements for applying for and keeping a job. All you have to do is
have nice clothes to make a decent impression, a home address and some way
to be reached in tight situations, and a way of getting to work in the
morning or night--whichever the case may be. That's it. And I, for one,
have reached a solution to this widespread laziness.
First of all, most homeless people spend their days hunting through
trash cans and dumpsters for a piece of sustenance or at least something of
value. If they're not doing that, they're begging for spare change on
street corners. Eventually, one would think that they should be able to
afford a couple of respectable suits or other outfits to wear while
applying and even working for this job of theirs. All they have to do is
poke around a little longer or beg a little more, and that job would be
theirs to enjoy. Keeping these articles of clothing clean would be
difficult, but manageable. If you can't afford a coin operated laundromat
(I'm sure there'd be plenty of left over change from begging), just find
some large, clean puddle of water in the street to wash things in. As for
cleanliness, I'm sure people throw away left over deodorant or
antiperspirant, soap, and other such toiletries to where you can care of
the bathing problem. You don't need to clean your hair, in fact, doing so
would rid yourself of the natural oils that build up over time and actually
hold your hair style in place.
Second, with all the left over money and such, they could go to one of
those Mailbox Etcetera stores and buy themselves a mailing address. That
just means they'll have to cope with eating only what they find in the
garbage, and not spending any of that extra cash on that frivolous fast
food, or that healthy vegetable stuff. Suppose they absolutely need a
phone nuraber also. What's stopping any of these people from sleeping close
to a pay phone? Just record the nuraber on the back of your hand (unless
you have some nice paper on you) before you head out to the job interview.
And if you really want to impress the boss, give him the nuraber of the pay
phone nearest your favorite begging corner or alley, just in case they
can't get a hold of you at the first nuraber. None would be the wiser.
As for the commuting, all one would have to do is make sure the pay
phone isn't too far from business. Better yet, sleep in front of the
business, near a pay phone, so you can also respond to any requests
promptly and efficiently. It would also give you much more time to sleep
while waiting for that first paycheck. Now that you must take care of the
job and the finding food and drink in the same twenty-four hour time period,
you need all the sleep you can get. Having to commute through miles of
busy sidewalk would make you wish you hadn't opted for a home away from
work. All this being on-time and showing up so early would be sure impress
the boss, especially if he already wasn't impressed with your feat of
scrounging up the resources to hold this special occupation.
Now if all this doesn't impress your supervisor, I don't know what
will. I know I'd be impressed after learning the amount of time this
homeless person took just to get a reasonable outfit to show up to work
with, the hours of begging just to get bus fare to another part of the city,
and the humility endured to actually work up the nerve to ask someone
fortunate enough to have some spare change in their pocket if they can
spare some so that person can get a bite too eat. By now I would hope that
any thought that I've been serious about any if these aforementioned ideas
has vanished: this is a satire. I'm not sticking up for every single
homeless person on the face of the planet, for I know there are quite a few
willing to spend any available penny to get that next crack rock to smoke
or that last fifth of whiskey to drink. The thing is, there are a lot of
people and even families willing to work for less than minimum wage if
someone were to just give them a chance. But most of us look away in shame
and ignore the person offering to wash our winRABhield for any spare change
we may have. I think scholarship programs need to be started to help these
people. Not a lottery where any crack fiend off the street can get the
opportunity to work, but actual screening and testing to try to see just
who is willing to take that extra step out of the pit. This is a problem
that cannot be ignored any longer.
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[FONT=tahoma, arial]WorRAB: 932 [/FONT]