D
debbiecat
Guest
I wonder if anyone can answer a little question for me?
I am no homophobe and get totally irate with people who are (I'm amazed incidentally - is it in California where it is being discussed nulling gay marriages? WTF??? Incredible!!)
However, I have a number of gay friends whom I love dearly. Unfortunately, from time to time I am introduced to friends of theirs, who immediately on meeting me, inform me of their sexuality in some manner. Fine - this is a major aspect of their life and it helps to know in the first place. The thing is, thats all I need. Your gay. Fine. I really don't care. I am interested in what that person likes, where they have been, who they are, who they would like to be - their sexual preferences are simply a background piece of information to me, like they were brought up in Borneo. I like to know, but it is of no importance to me.
So WHY do a number of gay men and lesbians appear completely unable to discuss anything else except their sexuality with me, and feel the constant need to draw attention back onto this over and over again? I really have been completely unable to have any good will towards people like this - surely it would be rather odd if I alluded to my hetrosexuality in every single comment? I sometimes feel like these particular people are trying to score points in some way - I have met 2 lesbians (different occasions) who both seemed to take massive delight in attempting to shock or make me feel uncomfortable by making very obvious sexual advances. Interestingly when I nipped it in the bud and said - 'listen love, I've been with a women and frankly I prefer the taste and feel of a man' they back of quick sharp. Is it some kind of power play? Because many hetrosexuals ARE intimidated?
Are these particular people rather insecure? What are your thoughts please anybody who is gay or lesbian? Am I right to feel irritated by this?
I do hope that you understand I am not out to be in anyway unpleasant, but I feel unable to critizise the friends of my friends to their face. I don't really like asking deeper questions about homosexuality with them, as I know that at least one of my friends feels very much like the 'token gay man' (he is at college doing a pschology degree - spelling i know sorry) and gets quized as if his feelings and views are identical to every other gay man. (I think it's all a bit "Oh your Gay and come from Manchester! Do you know John Mattison? - Yes of course, all gay people in Manchester know each other. We have a great big Facebook group and we go for monthly curry nights..." You know the kind of bollocks.
Any thoughts....
I am no homophobe and get totally irate with people who are (I'm amazed incidentally - is it in California where it is being discussed nulling gay marriages? WTF??? Incredible!!)
However, I have a number of gay friends whom I love dearly. Unfortunately, from time to time I am introduced to friends of theirs, who immediately on meeting me, inform me of their sexuality in some manner. Fine - this is a major aspect of their life and it helps to know in the first place. The thing is, thats all I need. Your gay. Fine. I really don't care. I am interested in what that person likes, where they have been, who they are, who they would like to be - their sexual preferences are simply a background piece of information to me, like they were brought up in Borneo. I like to know, but it is of no importance to me.
So WHY do a number of gay men and lesbians appear completely unable to discuss anything else except their sexuality with me, and feel the constant need to draw attention back onto this over and over again? I really have been completely unable to have any good will towards people like this - surely it would be rather odd if I alluded to my hetrosexuality in every single comment? I sometimes feel like these particular people are trying to score points in some way - I have met 2 lesbians (different occasions) who both seemed to take massive delight in attempting to shock or make me feel uncomfortable by making very obvious sexual advances. Interestingly when I nipped it in the bud and said - 'listen love, I've been with a women and frankly I prefer the taste and feel of a man' they back of quick sharp. Is it some kind of power play? Because many hetrosexuals ARE intimidated?
Are these particular people rather insecure? What are your thoughts please anybody who is gay or lesbian? Am I right to feel irritated by this?
I do hope that you understand I am not out to be in anyway unpleasant, but I feel unable to critizise the friends of my friends to their face. I don't really like asking deeper questions about homosexuality with them, as I know that at least one of my friends feels very much like the 'token gay man' (he is at college doing a pschology degree - spelling i know sorry) and gets quized as if his feelings and views are identical to every other gay man. (I think it's all a bit "Oh your Gay and come from Manchester! Do you know John Mattison? - Yes of course, all gay people in Manchester know each other. We have a great big Facebook group and we go for monthly curry nights..." You know the kind of bollocks.
Any thoughts....