When I first questioned my sexuality and knew I liked girls, I was cool about it. I don't live in a overly religious area so I don't know why I'm so randomly depressed about it. I know a lot of lesbians, my moms boss, some of my friends, ect...
And I know it's hard for girls to know when they are bi/lesbian because most girls find other girls pretty and whatever but the thing is I can't ever picture myself having sex with a man, just the thought alone makes me feel sick, I don't like the idea of dating a man. I love the idea of being with a woman.
And then I read somewhere that only 2% of the world is gay and then I just so randomly felt abnormal.
I've sleeping a LOT, probably 16 hours at a time, drinking lots of wine, crying... (and I never cry) and just feeling SO fow it's unbelievable. I just want to live the normal life, and I was thinking about my future, if I want to have kids and get married. I'm not out yet, thankfully you can't tell because I'm very feminine.
I just know that if I ever came out my family would be SOOO mad, especially my mom and aunts. I don't know if I'm bi or lesbian. I don't really believe in labels.
But the thing is, all of my friends always talk about boys and what male celebrities they love, and I just go along with them even though I know deep down that I don't find men attractive at ALL.
I'm 19 and I don't wanna be unique!!!
And I know it's hard for girls to know when they are bi/lesbian because most girls find other girls pretty and whatever but the thing is I can't ever picture myself having sex with a man, just the thought alone makes me feel sick, I don't like the idea of dating a man. I love the idea of being with a woman.
And then I read somewhere that only 2% of the world is gay and then I just so randomly felt abnormal.
I've sleeping a LOT, probably 16 hours at a time, drinking lots of wine, crying... (and I never cry) and just feeling SO fow it's unbelievable. I just want to live the normal life, and I was thinking about my future, if I want to have kids and get married. I'm not out yet, thankfully you can't tell because I'm very feminine.
I just know that if I ever came out my family would be SOOO mad, especially my mom and aunts. I don't know if I'm bi or lesbian. I don't really believe in labels.
But the thing is, all of my friends always talk about boys and what male celebrities they love, and I just go along with them even though I know deep down that I don't find men attractive at ALL.
I'm 19 and I don't wanna be unique!!!