From Jackie Mason, New York Jewish comedian, the king of the one-liners.
A will is a dead giveaway.
In a democracy it's your vote that counts; in feudalism, it's your Count that votes.
A chicken crossing the road; poultry in motion.
Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft; I'll show you A-flat miner.
A grenade fell on a barracks floor in France ; Linoleum Blownapart.
He broke into a song; he couldn't find the key.
A calendar's days are numbered.
A lot of money is tainted; ‘t’aint yours, ‘t’aint mine.
You've seen one shopping center; you've seen a mall.
When she saw her first strands of gray hair she thought she'd dye.
Bakers trade bread recipes on a know to knead basis.
Santa's helpers; subordinate clauses.
Acupuncture; a jab well done.
I thought I’d gone to an eye doctor on an Alaskan island but it was an optical Aleutian .
She was only a whisky maker, but he loved her still.
A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class; it was a weapon of math disruption.
The butcher backed into the meat grinder; he a little behind in his work.
Two silk worms had a race. They ended in a tie.
A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. Police are looking into it.
Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
Two hats on a hat rack. One said, “You stay here I'll go on a head.”
I wondered why the football kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
A sign at the rehab center said 'Keep off the Grass.'
A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. His mother asked how he was; the nurse said, 'No change yet.'
A soldier survived mustard gas and pepper spray; he’s now a seasoned veteran.
Cannibals ate a missionary; they got a taste of religion.
Don't join dangerous cults; practice safe sects.
.
A will is a dead giveaway.
In a democracy it's your vote that counts; in feudalism, it's your Count that votes.
A chicken crossing the road; poultry in motion.
Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft; I'll show you A-flat miner.
A grenade fell on a barracks floor in France ; Linoleum Blownapart.
He broke into a song; he couldn't find the key.
A calendar's days are numbered.
A lot of money is tainted; ‘t’aint yours, ‘t’aint mine.
You've seen one shopping center; you've seen a mall.
When she saw her first strands of gray hair she thought she'd dye.
Bakers trade bread recipes on a know to knead basis.
Santa's helpers; subordinate clauses.
Acupuncture; a jab well done.
I thought I’d gone to an eye doctor on an Alaskan island but it was an optical Aleutian .
She was only a whisky maker, but he loved her still.
A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class; it was a weapon of math disruption.
The butcher backed into the meat grinder; he a little behind in his work.
Two silk worms had a race. They ended in a tie.
A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. Police are looking into it.
Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
Two hats on a hat rack. One said, “You stay here I'll go on a head.”
I wondered why the football kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
A sign at the rehab center said 'Keep off the Grass.'
A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. His mother asked how he was; the nurse said, 'No change yet.'
A soldier survived mustard gas and pepper spray; he’s now a seasoned veteran.
Cannibals ate a missionary; they got a taste of religion.
Don't join dangerous cults; practice safe sects.
.