Who am I without the pills?

[ebird6]

you know, i have been on meRAB since i can remeraber ( i was diagnosed with cancer at 2 1/2). i have been an addict since i was in 6th grade because of chronic pain, and i am scared to live without pills too. i dont really know who i am without them. i dont know how to feel, how to smile, how to get up in the morning without them. nevermind the fact that i need them for pain, which i so desperatly do, but I NEED THEM! me, myself, this girl i supposedly am named erin neeRAB them. who am i if i am not sick? who am i if i am not taking pills? they are my life. its so confusing.

 

[Secrets1983]

Welcome Erin,

It's sounRAB as if life has dealt you a really tough hand! I am so sorry to hear you have been sick since you have been 2 1/2! What a hard road you must have walked by now!

I am sure you are confused.. it's only to be expected. I am not sure how old you are but to have been sick for many years and to have HAD to be on medications just to get thru life has probably been terrible.

I am sorry you are going thru all of this. I am sorry that life is not fair and that most times... things just don't make sense. I know that being an addict does make us forget who we are... I know the fear involved with not knowing who you really are and also while using.. the feelings of worry, wondering if you will ever find out. I am not sure if there will be a time in your life that you can go with out the pills but I pray for your sake that there is because no one should have to feel the way you do.

I am glad you found us here and we will do whatever we can to help! It's a great support system and we genuinly care so stick around! We can help you find your way!

You will be in my heart today and in my prayers!
~Secrets

 

[logalind]

Erin:

Every Grateful Recovering Addict has asked themselves this question. Who are we cuz we don't know. That is one of the wonderful things about recovery we can find out, what do we like dislike, we get to make ourselves into what ever we want to be. How exciting, we get to learn all about ourselves. We get to experience everything brand new!!!! I know it sounRAB overwhelming but, it truly is a blessing. I have found I am very spiritual I thought I was before but now I truly love God more than I thought I ever could. I have turned my will and my life over to him and I could never been happier. I am currently looking for a job its scary but I know God will show me the way. I have learned how to get out of my own head and care about others. I have a new hobby photography. These are all things I have learned in sobriety. Its awesome just stick around these boarRAB and know were all pulling for you. Take Care.
Love ya,
Lori