1.) A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead were trying out for a new NASA experiment on sending women to different planets. First, they called the brunette in and asked her a question.
"If you could go to any planet, what planet would you want to go to and why?" After pondering the question she answered, "I would like to go to Mars because it seems so interesting with all the recent news about possible extra terrestrial life on the planet."
They said, "Well okay, thank you." And told her that they would get back toher. Next, the redhead entered the room and the NASA people asked her the same question.In reply, "I would like to go to Saturn to see all of its rings.
"Again, "Thank you," and that they would get back to her. Finally, the blonde entered the room and they asked her the same question they had asked the brunette and the redhead. She thought for awhile and replied, "I would like to go to the sun.
"The people from NASA replied, "Why, don't you know that if you went to the sun you would burn to death?" The blonde smirked and put her hands on her hips. "Are you guys dumb? I'd go at night!"
....................................................................
2.)A Blondes Year In Review
January
Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight.
February
Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels…..
Helllloooo!!!…….bottles won’t fit in printer !!!
March
Got really excited…finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months…..
box said “2-4 years!”
April
Trapped on escalator for hours …. power went out!!!
May
Tried to make Kool-Aid….wrong instructions….8 cups of
water won’t fit into those little packets!!!
June
Tried to go water skiing…….couldn’t find a lake with a slope.
July
Lost breast stroke swimming competition…..learned later,
the other swimmers cheated, they used their arms!!!
August
Got locked out of my car in rain storm….
car swamped because soft-top was open.
September
The capital of California is “C”….isn’t it???
October
Hate M & M’s….they are so hard to peel.
November
Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days .. instructions said 1 hour
per pound and I weigh 108!!
December
Couldn’t call 911 …… “duh”…..there’s no “eleven”
Button on the stupid phone!!
...................................................................................
3.) A blonde walks into a barber shop, ready for a haircut. She sits down and the hairdresser asks her to take off her headphones.
The blonde says " I can't." The hair dresser asks her several times but the blonde insists she can't take them off. The hairdresser, now getting angry, takes out the headphones for herself, all of a sudden the blonde drops dead, to the ground.
The hairdresser, confused, picks up the headphones and puts them up to her ear, hearing "Breath in, Breath out, Breath in, Breath out"
"If you could go to any planet, what planet would you want to go to and why?" After pondering the question she answered, "I would like to go to Mars because it seems so interesting with all the recent news about possible extra terrestrial life on the planet."
They said, "Well okay, thank you." And told her that they would get back toher. Next, the redhead entered the room and the NASA people asked her the same question.In reply, "I would like to go to Saturn to see all of its rings.
"Again, "Thank you," and that they would get back to her. Finally, the blonde entered the room and they asked her the same question they had asked the brunette and the redhead. She thought for awhile and replied, "I would like to go to the sun.
"The people from NASA replied, "Why, don't you know that if you went to the sun you would burn to death?" The blonde smirked and put her hands on her hips. "Are you guys dumb? I'd go at night!"
....................................................................
2.)A Blondes Year In Review
January
Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight.
February
Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels…..
Helllloooo!!!…….bottles won’t fit in printer !!!
March
Got really excited…finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months…..
box said “2-4 years!”
April
Trapped on escalator for hours …. power went out!!!
May
Tried to make Kool-Aid….wrong instructions….8 cups of
water won’t fit into those little packets!!!
June
Tried to go water skiing…….couldn’t find a lake with a slope.
July
Lost breast stroke swimming competition…..learned later,
the other swimmers cheated, they used their arms!!!
August
Got locked out of my car in rain storm….
car swamped because soft-top was open.
September
The capital of California is “C”….isn’t it???
October
Hate M & M’s….they are so hard to peel.
November
Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days .. instructions said 1 hour
per pound and I weigh 108!!
December
Couldn’t call 911 …… “duh”…..there’s no “eleven”
Button on the stupid phone!!
...................................................................................
3.) A blonde walks into a barber shop, ready for a haircut. She sits down and the hairdresser asks her to take off her headphones.
The blonde says " I can't." The hair dresser asks her several times but the blonde insists she can't take them off. The hairdresser, now getting angry, takes out the headphones for herself, all of a sudden the blonde drops dead, to the ground.
The hairdresser, confused, picks up the headphones and puts them up to her ear, hearing "Breath in, Breath out, Breath in, Breath out"