when should a new couple in a relationship discuss finances..etc?

[the truth]

I have known this man for 8 years but we just decided to give our relationship a try and live together We dated a little prior but nothing too serious. He is 12 years older than myself (forty-some). I allowed him to move in with me to see if we could take things further. Its been a few months (3). He gave me a ring (wedding ring) for Christmas but it was not what I expected. I am grateful but we discussed this firsthand and he bought it anyways without my prior knowledge. The problem I am having in my head is he got the wrong size (he knew in advance my ring size) and the wrong color ( I prefer yellow gold and he got white gold), he says its platinum. I want to go check it out but anyways. I have found him to be very messy and not as clean as he needs to be with himself. I am a very neat and clean woman. I have discussed this with him briefly but he is so sensitive about certain subjects. Upon moving in with me I thought things would be better financially with it being the two of us. I told him what the rent was and I get one utility bill. Now that he is here and get paid weekly our situation is no better and he gets an attitude when I inquire are talk about finances. I am trying to be lenient and patient with him in all areas, but I don't know how long I can deal with this. What should I do at this point because I am in my late forties and I will not tolerate or sacrifice my well being just because. I need answers (I do pray) but I'm only human and this is disturbing me. I love him but I love me more. Any suggestions or advice will do.