when a relationship is over, why is sex the first thing to? Me and my spouse is still together after 13 years. We've had some issues but we've being trying to work through them. It's been over a year since we've had sex. Is it too late for us, if not how can we bring our sexual life back. I need to know. I miss him so much but he seems so distant. please let me know.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an alternative browser.
You should upgrade or use an alternative browser.
When a relationship is over, Why is sex the first thing to go?
- Thread starter Love4u
- Start date
I believe the reason that sex seems to be the first thing to go is because when you are in disagreement with someone you really are in no mood to be intimate with the person. So days turn into weeks and then months and in your case a year. You have to feel connected to someone to continue to have sex with them or you will feel like it is a chore and it will stop then to. But most of the time, which people are not aware of, the first thing to go is really the communication. It just seems the sex goes first because you miss that when you have to go to sleep with this person and the two of you are not connecting in an intimate way anymore. But I believe that you first stop listening and then you stop talking because no one is listening and then you are pushing further and further away from each other and the sex just stops. To get that back you have to be able to talk and listen to each other and find out why you stop listening and talking to each other in the first place. The sex will return once the communication starts back.
P
Paul
Guest
The best you can do is to try to be open, try new things, and explore new territory that you two may have repressed with each other. Maybe sex goes first because it's so deeply intimite...being afraid to open up is an easy thing to understand - nobody wants to anyone to judge their sexual desires and needs. I wish I had all the answers...being married for 21 years provides about 100 boring moments for every one exciting, at best.
L
leslie k
Guest
I once tried to get it back, it never worked. We had too many other things between us. But when I look back, we never had a good sex life. With my new husband in the one year we have been together we have made love more times than my ex husband and I did in the last 8 years we were married. Try with wearing something sexy, it is a good start.
M
Meagan
Guest
I don't know what your problems are, but sometimes things can make you lose respect for each other. And no one wants to have sex with someone they can't respect.
This happened to me. My husband didn't have a job for SIX years, in spite of everything I did to help him find (and keep) one. I lost all respect for him because he didn't care enough about me to help support our marriage financially. I lost all interest in sex with him.
If you two are working on your problems, eventually you'll grow to love and respect each other again, and then the physical part of your relationship will develop naturally as well.
This happened to me. My husband didn't have a job for SIX years, in spite of everything I did to help him find (and keep) one. I lost all respect for him because he didn't care enough about me to help support our marriage financially. I lost all interest in sex with him.
If you two are working on your problems, eventually you'll grow to love and respect each other again, and then the physical part of your relationship will develop naturally as well.