Whats the next move after the end?

C

Congrats Kevin Jonas ♥

New member
Hi, I've been a caregiver for 2 1/2 years now, retired my career, lost my wife and now a widower, both best friends have died, no family left except me taking care of my 87 years young mother, and my dog harley.

It was close in the hospital last week, when my mother was hospitalized for almost a month, but was actually thought was her last day. The doctor was discharging her that morning, saying that she was good to go home, regardless of my gut feeling that something else was wrong with her, and she acted off. By noon, she had a fever of 104, non-responsive, and it took a loud argument with the doctor and nurses to decided to keep her again in the hospital. They called the chaplain, and said she was on the way out. They said she had now had pneumonia and alot of fluids and suggested to use the stomach tube to feed her and keep her alive, but I decided to just wait until the morning. They started the antibiotics, and I just waited and talked to her over and over all night long. Then at 5am, she opened her eyes, and said "I'm hungry"!

With what I figured out, she apparently was asperating, had most of her last medicine went to the airway instead of her stomach, and had a reaction that put her into a semi-coma state.

She's now at home, during alot better after they decided to take her off of all medicines except her lactulose for her cirrohis.

My question is, after so close it was, the only thoughts and questions poped into my head, was what in the heck to I do after the end? I have nothing really left, no career, no family, no wife, girlfriend and no plans to even plan on, so whats next?

I'm not depressed yet, but questions like this can really work on a persons head....suggestions?
 
Oh gosh that really is food for thought. I'm sorry for all your losses, you certainly would be entitled to be depressed. Do you have any hobbies? Play golf or some other sport? Belong to any clubs? Perhaps doing volunteer work could be worth considering. I imagine that would be very rewarding and could lead to new friendships. I admire your devotion to your mum but it's OK to do things just for yourself. I hope your mum stays well.
 
Yes, get involved in your community. Are you handy with things around the house? Volunteer with Habitat. You're in Mobile - there is still rebuilding going on from Katrina on the coast and in NOLA. Lots of opportunities there. Like kids? How about Big Brothers? Sports? Try Boys and girls clubs. Helpling the sick and elderly (you're already doing that)? Try Meals on Wheels. A business man? Try Jr Acheivement.
Interested in the arts? Become a docent at the museum. Lots to do out there.
 
caregiver, You are not alone facing this kind of situation. (The most public is probably empty-nester mother . . . what to do after the kids have left the nest!)

I am still caregiving, but have become involved at church, which has been very supportive. I don't know your inclination, but that might be an idea to find some direction. I agree about the volunteering, also.
 
You can make new friends! also If you have some money saved you can go travel, or even move somewhere else for a change, if your mom is ok enough to travel. Why not to think something you ever wanted to do even if its crazy and do it, you say it feels to you its almost the end so what is to loose?
You say you have no family left or not more "close" family left? you could try find far relatives, dont be depressed you can do as many things as when you were 20 you only need the attitude.
 
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