Whats a tough riddle or a funny joke?

just learned this one lol, sorta inappropriate but still funny :P

Whats the difference between a Rooster and a Hooker?

A Rooster goes cock A Doodle Doo

A Hooker goes any cock will do
 
Bit innapropriate but still good...

A little boy walked into his mum and dads room whilst they were having sex. So the boy asked his dad, "Dad, what are you doing?"
His father replied..
"I'm making you a little brother or sister!"
Then the little boy said
" cant you do mummy in doggy style because I want a puppy!"

:D
 
This is very innapropriate and some ppl may know it alrdy.


A little boy decides to shower with his parents but only if he keeps his eyes closed. He opens his eyes and looks up at his mom and says, "mommy what are those". the mother responds, "well, umm, those are my headlights". He then looks down at his mom and says "what's that" and she says "that's my garden". The boy turns around and looks downat his dad and asks "what's that" and he says that's my snake". Two nights later there is a thunder storm so the little boy asks if he can sleep with his parents. They say yes but only if he keeps his eyes closed. He opens them anyway and screams
"Mommy, mommy, turn on your headlights, Daddy's snake is crawling into your garden!"
 
Once there were three friends who were stuck on an island. One had Red hair, one had Brown hair and one had Blond hair (in case you didn't figure it out this is a "dumb blond" joke). One day as they were walking around on the island feeling very sad that they were trapped there they came upon a lamp and they rubbed it and a genie came out and told them that seeing as there were three of them he would give them each one wish. So the red head said "I'll go first, I wish that I was back at my home in L____" and POOF she was there. After that the Brunette said "I wish I was back at my flat in T____" and POOF she was gone. So after they had gone the blond was thinking about her wish and she was thinking about how much she would miss her friends now that she was alone on the island and so she said " I wish they were both back here with me." and POOF they were back on the island. :)
The same trio was exploring one day and they came upon a very interesting village that had a castle and in this castle was a room that only one person could go into at a time and it had a mirror in it that if you stood in from of it you could tell it something and if you got it right you would be the richest person in the world but if you got it wrong you would be zapped into nothingness. So they decided to go check it out. The Brunette went in first and she said to the mirror, "I think I'm the prettiest girl in the world!" and ZAP! She was gone. Next, the red head went in and said, "I think I'm the Smartest girl in the world!" and ZAP! She was gone. Next the blond went in and said to the mirror, "I think" and ZAP! She was gone! It's funnier when you tell it to someone cause you can put inflection into your voice at the right times.
 
Funny Joke: A guy walks into a bar and hanging behind the bar is a sign. It says: Cheese Sandwich $2
below that in smaller letters it says: Hand Jobs $5
The guy sits down at the bar and the bartender walks over.
The guy asks, " Are you the one who gives the hand jobs? "
She Replies: " I am. Why? Do you want one? "
He says: "No, wash your damn hands and make me a cheese sandwich."
 
A first-grade teacher , Ms. Brooks, was having trouble with one of her students. The
teacher asked, 'Harry, what's your problem?'

Harry answered, 'I'm too smart for the 1st grade. My sister is in the 3rd grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the 3rd grade too!'

Ms. Brooks had had enough. She took Harry to the principal's office.

While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told Ms. Brooks he would give the boy a test. If he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the 1st grade and behave. She agreed.

Harry was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.

Principal: 'What is 3 x 3?'

Harry: '9.'

Principal: 'What is 6 x 6?'

Harry: '36.'

And so it went with every question the principal thought a 3rd grader should know.

The principal looks at Ms. Brooks and tells her, 'I think Harry can go to the 3rd grade.'

Ms. Brooks says to the principal, 'Let me ask him some questions.'

The principal and Harry both agreed.

Ms. Brooks asks, 'What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?'

Harry, after a moment: 'Legs.'

Ms Brooks: 'What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?'

The principal wondered why would she ask such a question!

Harry replied: 'Pockets.'

Ms. Brooks: 'What does a dog do that a man steps into?'

Harry: 'Pants.'

Ms. Brooks: What starts with a C, ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin, whitish liquid?'
Harry: 'Coconut.'

The principal sat forward with his mouth hanging open.

Ms. Brooks: 'What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?'
The principal's eyes opened really wide and before he could stop the answer, Harry replied, 'Bubble gum.'
Ms. Brooks: 'What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs?'
Harry: 'Shake hands.'

The principal was trembling.

Ms. Brooks: 'What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K' that means a lot of heat and excitement?'
Harry: 'Firetruck.'
The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher, 'Put Harry in the fifth-grade, I got the last seven question s wrong......'
 
its kinda stupid but

a boy and his mom went to the park while his mom was sitting on the bench he climbed a 25 foot tree. when it was time to go his mom called him and he jumped from the tree and landed on his feet unharmed who is that possible?

A: the tree was on its side!!!! LOL

a truck driver was going the wrong way on a one way street. a cop drove by and he didnt get pulled over how is that possible?

A: the truck driver was walking
 
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