What the fuck..?

sibireus, i hate to be the first to reply to your cry for advice, because i HAVE been in your situation (minus the linguistic context) and i DO understand and empathize more than you realize. oh, wait, i guess i should say "realise" for you, but i know you already know i speak american english.

regardless, here's my honest-to-goodness advice for you:

never stop thinking about who you are, now that you are aware that who you are does not automatically fit the norm you're being asked to fit. that in mind, bend to be ABLE to fit the norm, but retain the real you. do the things you enjoy, but try - and i should have done more of this when younger - to culture the capacity to focus on a boring task longer, or to force yourself to practice the native tongue there in norway. find a friend to coach your language. i've had two romanian girlfriends, for example, who loved me to death for my way of helping them find the right words for random things in english.

while you try to learn to bend to fit their mold, ask yourself whether it's something you want to continue to grow. think of different aspects of yourself like different crops on a farm. you may want to allocate more space on the farm to things you like, but it may prove more practical in your future to allocate more space to other things. often times, expected and desire for internal growth conflict.

at 16, it's more like "all the time" than "often times."

you sound exactly like me. when impassioned about my work, i'll do amazing things. when i have no emotional desire to do the work, it comes out tremendously mediocre -- and did i mention i put that stuff off until THE VERY LAST MINUTE?

i bet it sounds familiar. are you an only child? not only do your parents seem close-minded, it sounds like you have a doting mother. learn to zone her out when you can or emotionally have to. learn to go through the motions that show them respect but to keep enough self-respect to let go of it when they do or say something that bothers you -- their control over you diminishes as you age and you'll feel better over time.

it also sounds to me like they're afraid they'll lose some aspect of their previous culture if they start doing trendy modern things. i don't know if that's got anything to do with you or the issue, but it's definitely a feeling i'm getting in response to your bit about your parents.

anyway, here's the summary:

metacognition is what will carry you through this awkward part of your life. you know some of your internal processes; now get really familiar with all of them: how do you think when you think about things? not about the things themselves, but about your style of thought. how do you allow your emotions to guide your responses to things? etc. learn when and how to manage these things appropriately and you'll be able to better fit into the culture there (let's face it, half of you wants to and the other half doesn't want to make the effort but still recognizes the reward of fitting in).

best of all, good luck, and nice meeting you here.

~ dan ~
 
I'm 16, from America, and I don't know what the heck I'm going to do with my life either. Plus being a girl, feeling highly unattractive, and not being very popular does wonders to your self esteem. I feel for you. Good luck and keep ranting.
 
best advice i can give you is....take advantage of all this ...dont look at the downside of things....you are in a position to learn three different languages...practice their culture....try to learn as much as possible...like morelos said...practice their native tounge....to me 16 is still a tad to young to move out ...or anything drastic like that...i feel you for the parents situation too...i too have overprotective old fashioned parents...you just need to tough it out for the next few years....as you grow old...it'll get better....anyways...good luck man....take care...oh and send some hot norwegian[sp?] over...
 
You don't have a FUCKING clue......SHUT UP....Your still popin pimples and jerkin your cud all day......I love it when the youngsters say "Now that I'm 16 and have some basic understanding of what this world is".....

Yeah right..
 
Sibireus. As stated, yes you are young. However, you pretty much have the knowledge about life that I have as a 23 year old. Not much older, no, but still a little older. Life fucking sucks, I can't figure out what the hell I'm doing in mine either and it's driving me up the fucking wall. I'd like to end it and start over, but that's for another post. In any case, you have a lot of time to make life work for you. So you do not fit into the status quo. That's good. Screw them, do what you're gonna do. Learn the 3 languages fluently. It's something that you will never regret. Plus, chicks dig it...I know I do. So, hold your head high, think as positively as you can. Worship yourself like no one ever could and go out there and kick ass.

This message brought to you by a strange, decrepit, Tigredragon. :kickcan:
 
at work today, somebody came up to me and we started chatting about how fucking hot it was and how much i hated working in the heat. his last statement was "It's life." my first thought was "Yeah... and it will be for another 50 years when i retire." then i started thinking about "life." what it is... living your life as you are told, not as how you want... giving your money to some guy sitting on his fat lazy ass in a chair 4000 miles away, who you're probably never going to see... living by people telling you what to do and when to do it. if that's "life" then i want no part of it. i just want everybody to leave me alone, but that isn't going to happen.
 
As a matter of fact, i tend to read a lot. And since most of the books i read describe the world in an alternative way, i start to think about things that usually don't bother people my age. I don't believe in fate or destiny, but i think of what is probable and what is possible. I a lot about my own emotions, I have learned the way my mind works, but yet I was not able to change it the way I want.

It's interesting sometimes to go out and look at people's faces. They say that one's eyes is a mirror of one's soul. How right that is, sometimes it a by-passers's eyes you can read way more than that person wants you to.

You are right, I am an only child. I always leave things 'till the last minute, not matter what it is - eating breakfast or a Personal Project at school that I was given 6 months to complete, and which I did in 1 day at school. Anyway, morelos, what you wrote is the best piece of advice I've got so far, whether it was my parents of my friends. Thank you.

Life is a weird thing, after all, and you have to face many things throughout it. What will come, will come, and you have to face it when it does.

TwisT: Fuck You.
 
siberius - just be patient with life, be patient with yourself, and be patient with those around you. seriously, i've wanted to blow up at this or that or even just something out of principle, but the bottom line is it won't get you anywhere and if you choose to fight in ALL the battles you just may lose the war.

thanks for the compliment; i understand your situation greatly and found that just waiting it out really is not only the only solution, but quite an effective one when it boils down to it.

don't give up trying; try to be you and try to bend. it's good for you.

~ dan ~
 
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