What should I do if one fine day I get to Mars? Would you comment on my poem?

  • Thread starter Thread starter A Voice in the Wilderness
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A Voice in the Wilderness

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I placed this benign little verse in response to a question last night and was promptly blocked by the questioner. What objections do you find with my verse?

If one fine day I get to Mars
Will I write poems as well
As one who every effort bars
Unvarnished truths to tell.

Would I be better than I am
Or would I be quite worse
And if the former would you dam
My honeyed stream and curse.

Or would you then forgive my sins? --
I know not what I've done.
On Earth the pure of spirit wins,
With that I'm sure you'll run.

You've sold your soul to fantasy
There is no Golden Dome --
There's only just this place you see
The one that you call home.

But you are compensated yet
For trips that you might miss;
Just think of all the folks you've met
And then remember this:

One played with numbers, not with love,
'Twas all truth you were told.
The hawk you know; what of the dove,
If I may be so bold.

I love this world, I think I'll stay,
Where everything is real.
I'll think of you when you're away
That much I will reveal.

But if you ever miss a beat
And if I lend a hand
Just listen please and don't retreat
Just take it in and stand

Prepared to take that simple gift
That's given free and clear
Because forgiveness knows no rift --
And life is so, so dear.

Do you think the questioner is perhaps being a bit melodramatic since I have only offered practical advice in the name of a higher principle? I'd like to know what your thoughts are on such behavior.
 
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