I wrote this poem myself and I want some feedback on it. What emotions does it bring forth, can you relate to it at all. Stuff like that.
When we are apart
There is a hole within my heart
It grows larger with each day
That from you, I am away.
The only time it can disappear
Is when I find that you are near.
This hole was made long ago
When a father's love did not show.
Because of you, the hole is gone
And with my life, I can move on.
On the outside, I may seem happy
But on the inside, my life is crappy.
It seems to be I always lose
When the time comes for me to choose
If I should hold on to love
Or set it free, like a dove.
I have decided to use my might
Because for this love, I will fight.
I can't stand to see you hurt
I will not let your tears hit dirt
I will catch them if they fall,
I promise you, I'll catch them all.
I see his words cause you pain,
I won't let my efforts to go in vain
Through it all, I'll be at your side
By these words, I shall abide.
I cannot be there all the time
I tell you that with this rhyme
But if you find yourself in need
Let me help, this I plead.
I will catch you if you fall
And try to save you from it all.
My love for you, I won't second guess
I want you back and nothing less.
But now that you are nowhere near
I live my life in constant fear.
I cannot wait for your return,
Your happiness is my lone concern.
But now I question if you care,
I wonder if the feelings are there.
I find myself in a shallow grave,
Is this what I get for the love I gave?
I look around and all I see
My mistakes staring back at me.
And now it seems the choice is made
Is this what I get for the price I paid?
The nights of sorrow and countless tears shed,
The cold nights spent alone in my bed.
All I wanted was one more dance,
A simple request for another chance.
On the inside there is nothing but hurt
On the outside, I am surrounded by dirt.
I dug for answers I could not find,
I searched until I lost my mind.
But now I know my search is done,
Because in you, I have found the one.
When we are apart
There is a hole within my heart
It grows larger with each day
That from you, I am away.
The only time it can disappear
Is when I find that you are near.
This hole was made long ago
When a father's love did not show.
Because of you, the hole is gone
And with my life, I can move on.
On the outside, I may seem happy
But on the inside, my life is crappy.
It seems to be I always lose
When the time comes for me to choose
If I should hold on to love
Or set it free, like a dove.
I have decided to use my might
Because for this love, I will fight.
I can't stand to see you hurt
I will not let your tears hit dirt
I will catch them if they fall,
I promise you, I'll catch them all.
I see his words cause you pain,
I won't let my efforts to go in vain
Through it all, I'll be at your side
By these words, I shall abide.
I cannot be there all the time
I tell you that with this rhyme
But if you find yourself in need
Let me help, this I plead.
I will catch you if you fall
And try to save you from it all.
My love for you, I won't second guess
I want you back and nothing less.
But now that you are nowhere near
I live my life in constant fear.
I cannot wait for your return,
Your happiness is my lone concern.
But now I question if you care,
I wonder if the feelings are there.
I find myself in a shallow grave,
Is this what I get for the love I gave?
I look around and all I see
My mistakes staring back at me.
And now it seems the choice is made
Is this what I get for the price I paid?
The nights of sorrow and countless tears shed,
The cold nights spent alone in my bed.
All I wanted was one more dance,
A simple request for another chance.
On the inside there is nothing but hurt
On the outside, I am surrounded by dirt.
I dug for answers I could not find,
I searched until I lost my mind.
But now I know my search is done,
Because in you, I have found the one.