Heather Kathleen
New member
Okay,
This isn't so much of a question as it is a cry for help and/or advice. I'm 20 years old and for the most part, compared to the majority of society, have lead a very fortunate life. My family is well off, although broken. My parent's divorced when I was two and I've lived with my mother and stepfather since age three (No recollection or relationship with my biological father). I am a middle child and a "black sheep". My sister and brother are much more accomplished than myself and I've alwayssss been a problem child. Since age eleven I've been diagnosed and suffered from anxiety, depression, bipolar disorder. Aswell as been seeking treatment for these illness'. Two years ago I developed an eating disorder and despite treatment still suffer from it to this day. I've also recently developed issues with alcohol and drugs. I'm actually currently intoxicated, hence the reason I've suppressed my pride and decided to reach out. What the fuck is wrong with me? Why don't I belong? Why am I not happy with myself or life while I have all of the resources to my advantage which would designate the contrary? I study psychology as a sophmore in college right now and like to consider myself fairly intelligent. I just kills me that I cannot resolve my own internal issues. I am so self destructive, fear that without outside help my future consists of certain death. Now that I've discovered ways to avoid feeling and dealing with my emotions (Eating disorder, alcohol/ drug abuse, ect..) I haven't the self control to fight my urges and find the strength within me to battle all of this shit. Help?
This isn't so much of a question as it is a cry for help and/or advice. I'm 20 years old and for the most part, compared to the majority of society, have lead a very fortunate life. My family is well off, although broken. My parent's divorced when I was two and I've lived with my mother and stepfather since age three (No recollection or relationship with my biological father). I am a middle child and a "black sheep". My sister and brother are much more accomplished than myself and I've alwayssss been a problem child. Since age eleven I've been diagnosed and suffered from anxiety, depression, bipolar disorder. Aswell as been seeking treatment for these illness'. Two years ago I developed an eating disorder and despite treatment still suffer from it to this day. I've also recently developed issues with alcohol and drugs. I'm actually currently intoxicated, hence the reason I've suppressed my pride and decided to reach out. What the fuck is wrong with me? Why don't I belong? Why am I not happy with myself or life while I have all of the resources to my advantage which would designate the contrary? I study psychology as a sophmore in college right now and like to consider myself fairly intelligent. I just kills me that I cannot resolve my own internal issues. I am so self destructive, fear that without outside help my future consists of certain death. Now that I've discovered ways to avoid feeling and dealing with my emotions (Eating disorder, alcohol/ drug abuse, ect..) I haven't the self control to fight my urges and find the strength within me to battle all of this shit. Help?