I'm one of those people that over-analyzes things quite a bit. Couple that with an interest in psychology, and I come up with a load of paranoid self-diagnoses. Note: I am a college male.
That being said, there is something a bit off about me. I am inhibited socially, but I am also embarrassed by this so I play it off by acting cynical and aloof. People often say I seem distant when they first meet me (I am much friendlier once I get to know someone). I can't really show affection well either. So I mean, at a base level I'd say the issue is a fear of rejection/failure. Do you think that's why (sometimes) the thought of intimacy disgusts me?
Note 2: I've had a girlfriend, and I hook up with people. For all intents and purposes, I am a normal person. All of these thoughts are unknown to everyone else, they just rage constantly within my mind.
Intimacy doesn't always sicken me. Having a girlfriend enabled me to open a bit more and show some affection, but when we broke up, the problem intensified. I've been hooking up with random girls every weekend, and I don't really even get much pleasure out of it. I do it because if I don't do it, I feel like I'm not doing anything productive. But I'm not even that type of guy.
There is a girl that I am interested in. The thought of being intimate with her usually makes me happy, but even with her, sometimes it bothers me. Is this because I am afraid? Or is it something else?
Sorry for the incredibly long question.
Thanks, I will look into seeing a mental therapist through my school's health center. Part of the issue could also be anxiety about adjusting to college life and academics.
Note 3: I don't play videogames.
That being said, there is something a bit off about me. I am inhibited socially, but I am also embarrassed by this so I play it off by acting cynical and aloof. People often say I seem distant when they first meet me (I am much friendlier once I get to know someone). I can't really show affection well either. So I mean, at a base level I'd say the issue is a fear of rejection/failure. Do you think that's why (sometimes) the thought of intimacy disgusts me?
Note 2: I've had a girlfriend, and I hook up with people. For all intents and purposes, I am a normal person. All of these thoughts are unknown to everyone else, they just rage constantly within my mind.
Intimacy doesn't always sicken me. Having a girlfriend enabled me to open a bit more and show some affection, but when we broke up, the problem intensified. I've been hooking up with random girls every weekend, and I don't really even get much pleasure out of it. I do it because if I don't do it, I feel like I'm not doing anything productive. But I'm not even that type of guy.
There is a girl that I am interested in. The thought of being intimate with her usually makes me happy, but even with her, sometimes it bothers me. Is this because I am afraid? Or is it something else?
Sorry for the incredibly long question.
Thanks, I will look into seeing a mental therapist through my school's health center. Part of the issue could also be anxiety about adjusting to college life and academics.
Note 3: I don't play videogames.