What is the right way (and age)to teach my children about sex?

[anonymous]

I remember how useless sex ed was in school. They didn't mention that it's unhealthy to be a stalker, lol, and some 12 year olds don't have any common sense. I want to be the one to teach my children about sex, dating and relationships. (Actually I don't even think it should be taught in school unless they're going to include more than just how to use a condom...the middle schoolers seem to learn that they're being given permission from the schools to have sex, the condom part often goes unnoticed anyway). I have 5 children, I started having them at age 14. I don't want my daughter to make the same mistakes I made, she's 9 now. She is already trying to be sexual. Not with boys or anything, but she makes her barbies do naughty things and I think she might be doing things to herself when she's alone. I tried to talk to her about it but she just giggled at me. I wonder what age I should allow her to start dating, if I don't allow it at all would she do it anyway ? And if I do allow it and she gets pregnant wouldn't it be my fault? When she gets to a certain age do I just teach her to have fun but be safe? Sex is fun and when she's ready for it I wouldn't want to be oppressive and mean, sex is natural, but I worry about her getting hurt, diseased, pregnant. I want her to be happy. I want to let her make her own decisions but I also feel I need to protect her. It's really bothering me. I know when I was her age I was already trying to mess with boys, I know she doesn't but I think she wants to. Obviously 9 is way too young to give consent, but when is right? Puberty? I mean, it is the beginning of womanhood. I tell her to wait til she's married but honestly I think that would be dumb and could even ruin her future happiness. I really want to talk to her about everything, but I'm afraid that my trying to talk to her is only making her more interested. I just don't know what to do here. Like I said, in the long run her happiness is what matters.