C
chipparoo2002
Guest
I just need to laugh so help me out!
O
Ollie H
Guest
I think it's funny...but no one else does...so I tend to end up laughing my @ss off while everyone else is like, "Oh sh!t, hide your faces."
B
Blue
Guest
I dont know any funny jokes.
R
RaffiTheMaster
Guest
Cant think of any..
1
136 combat in runescape
Guest
i would say it but it would just get reported and deleted
L
LAUREN =]
Guest
why couldn't sally go on the swing?
because sally was a fish!
because sally was a fish!
B
blehh
Guest
your mom in the bedroom
freaking hilarious.
watch her sometime
freaking hilarious.
watch her sometime
S
schleterg
Guest
I know sooo many, but when put on the spot; its hard to think... um....
personal fav:
Three men were driving in a car; Shutup, manners and Poop. Manners was driving too fast, and Poop fell out of the car. Manners stayed with Poop, and shutup went to get a police.
the policeman asked, "Whats your name?"
"Shutup," he replied, honestly.
"EXCUSE ME!" exclaimed the policeman, "Where ARE your Manners?" he muttered.
"Out on the road, scooping up Poop!"
Whats brown and sticky...?
A stick! ahhahah!
I see u smiling!
How do you catch a unique bird?
U nique (sneek) up on him! Get it? haha
What type of shoes do frogs wear?
Open-TOAD!!
I HEARD that chuckle! don't deny it!
What is the last thing that runs through a bugs mind as it hts the windscreen of a car?
It's butt!
C'mon, that was kinda funny! Corny, but funny! hahahahaha - i'm laughing!!!
There was a man who drowned on a boat. He was just sitting there, eating museli, when he was pulled in by a strong CURRANT...
What is the dentists favourite time?
tooth-hurty... 2:30 !!!
There were three girls, who had to climb a hundred stairs and on each step they would get told a joke by god. If they didnt laugh ONCE, they would go to heaven. The brunette got to the 53rd step - before she burst out laughing. The dark-haired girl got to the 89th stair, before she could hold in her laughter, no longer. Finallky, the blonde made it to the 99th step before she cracked up. God asked her why she laughed.
"Oh," she replied, "I just got the first joke!"
Why did the scarecrow win the nobel prize?
He was OUT STANDING in his field!
Now THATS funny!!!
Sorry... I have better ones, but i can't really think of em.
Hope these cheered u up a bit! =D
personal fav:
Three men were driving in a car; Shutup, manners and Poop. Manners was driving too fast, and Poop fell out of the car. Manners stayed with Poop, and shutup went to get a police.
the policeman asked, "Whats your name?"
"Shutup," he replied, honestly.
"EXCUSE ME!" exclaimed the policeman, "Where ARE your Manners?" he muttered.
"Out on the road, scooping up Poop!"
Whats brown and sticky...?
A stick! ahhahah!
I see u smiling!
How do you catch a unique bird?
U nique (sneek) up on him! Get it? haha
What type of shoes do frogs wear?
Open-TOAD!!
I HEARD that chuckle! don't deny it!
What is the last thing that runs through a bugs mind as it hts the windscreen of a car?
It's butt!
C'mon, that was kinda funny! Corny, but funny! hahahahaha - i'm laughing!!!
There was a man who drowned on a boat. He was just sitting there, eating museli, when he was pulled in by a strong CURRANT...
What is the dentists favourite time?
tooth-hurty... 2:30 !!!
There were three girls, who had to climb a hundred stairs and on each step they would get told a joke by god. If they didnt laugh ONCE, they would go to heaven. The brunette got to the 53rd step - before she burst out laughing. The dark-haired girl got to the 89th stair, before she could hold in her laughter, no longer. Finallky, the blonde made it to the 99th step before she cracked up. God asked her why she laughed.
"Oh," she replied, "I just got the first joke!"
Why did the scarecrow win the nobel prize?
He was OUT STANDING in his field!
Now THATS funny!!!
Sorry... I have better ones, but i can't really think of em.
Hope these cheered u up a bit! =D
P
Pin-Up Doll
Guest
A mushroom walks into a bar and the bartender says, "I'm sorry, we don't serve mushrooms here".
And the mushroom says, "Aw, come on! I'm a fungi!" ('fun guy)
And the mushroom says, "Aw, come on! I'm a fungi!" ('fun guy)
E
Ependa
Guest
kay, I don't ever remember jokes...but here's 3 friends have sent me recently...
***
Once upon a time, in a land far away, a beautiful, independent, self-assured princess happened upon a frog as she sat, contemplating ecological issues on the shores of an unpolluted pond in a verdant meadow near her castle.
The frog hopped into the princess' lap and said: Elegant Lady, I was once a handsome prince, until an evil witch cast a spell upon me. One kiss from you, however, and I will turn back into the dapper, young prince that I am and then, my sweet, we can marry and set up housekeeping in your castle with my mother, where you can prepare my meals, clean my clothes, bear my children, and forever feel grateful and happy doing so.
That night, as the princess dined sumptuously on lightly sautéed frog legs seasoned in a white wine and onion cream sauce, she chuckled and thought to herself: I don't fukin' think so.
*****
The family wheeled Grandma out on the lawn, in her wheelchair,
where the activities for her 100th birthday were taking place.
Grandma couldn't speak very well, but she would write notes when she
needed to communicate.
After a short time out on the lawn, Grandma started leaning off to the
right, so some family members grabbed her, straightened her up, and
stuffed pillows on her right.
A short time later, she started leaning off to her left, so again the
family grabbed her and stuffed pillows on her left.
Soon she started leaning forward, so the family members again grabbed
her, and then tied a pillowcase around her waist to hold her up.
A nephew who arrived late came up to Grandma and said, 'Hi, Grandma,
you're looking good! How are they treating you?'
Grandma took out her little notepad and slowly wrote a note to the
nephew...... 'Bastards won't let me fart.'
****
This is a story proving how fascinating the mind of a six year old is. They think so logically.
A teacher was reading the story of the Three Little Pigs to her class. She came to the part of the story where first pig was trying to gather the building materials for his home. She read, 'and so the pig went up to the man with the wheelbarrow full of straw and said: 'Pardon me sir, but may I have some of that straw to build my house?
The teacher paused then asked the class: 'And what do you think the man said?'
One little boy raised his hand and said very matter-of-factly . . . 'I think the man would have said -'Well, I'll be damned!! A talking pig!”
'The teacher had to leave the room.
***
Once upon a time, in a land far away, a beautiful, independent, self-assured princess happened upon a frog as she sat, contemplating ecological issues on the shores of an unpolluted pond in a verdant meadow near her castle.
The frog hopped into the princess' lap and said: Elegant Lady, I was once a handsome prince, until an evil witch cast a spell upon me. One kiss from you, however, and I will turn back into the dapper, young prince that I am and then, my sweet, we can marry and set up housekeeping in your castle with my mother, where you can prepare my meals, clean my clothes, bear my children, and forever feel grateful and happy doing so.
That night, as the princess dined sumptuously on lightly sautéed frog legs seasoned in a white wine and onion cream sauce, she chuckled and thought to herself: I don't fukin' think so.
*****
The family wheeled Grandma out on the lawn, in her wheelchair,
where the activities for her 100th birthday were taking place.
Grandma couldn't speak very well, but she would write notes when she
needed to communicate.
After a short time out on the lawn, Grandma started leaning off to the
right, so some family members grabbed her, straightened her up, and
stuffed pillows on her right.
A short time later, she started leaning off to her left, so again the
family grabbed her and stuffed pillows on her left.
Soon she started leaning forward, so the family members again grabbed
her, and then tied a pillowcase around her waist to hold her up.
A nephew who arrived late came up to Grandma and said, 'Hi, Grandma,
you're looking good! How are they treating you?'
Grandma took out her little notepad and slowly wrote a note to the
nephew...... 'Bastards won't let me fart.'
****
This is a story proving how fascinating the mind of a six year old is. They think so logically.
A teacher was reading the story of the Three Little Pigs to her class. She came to the part of the story where first pig was trying to gather the building materials for his home. She read, 'and so the pig went up to the man with the wheelbarrow full of straw and said: 'Pardon me sir, but may I have some of that straw to build my house?
The teacher paused then asked the class: 'And what do you think the man said?'
One little boy raised his hand and said very matter-of-factly . . . 'I think the man would have said -'Well, I'll be damned!! A talking pig!”
'The teacher had to leave the room.
S
Serious
Guest
"Hey Jack, What's your name?" Ha ha ha
Please answer me, Is this a pretty girl?:
http://au.answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=Atla2BDiuZumU_y4N3Dhx2rh5gt.;_ylv=3?qid=20081115220656AAdoZtP
Please answer me, Is this a pretty girl?:
http://au.answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=Atla2BDiuZumU_y4N3Dhx2rh5gt.;_ylv=3?qid=20081115220656AAdoZtP
D
Diesel777
Guest
Why are hurricanes named after women?
Answer: They come in wet and wild. On their way out, they take your house and your car ;-)
Answer: They come in wet and wild. On their way out, they take your house and your car ;-)
B
Becka N
Guest
There was a black guy and a white guy standing on the edge of the pool, buck naked, dongs hanging out.
The white guy shivers and says "oooh its cold"
The black guy says "It's deep too"
Ahaha I love that one.
A Professor was giving a lecture to his first year medical students on "Involuntary Muscle Contraction". Realising that this was the most riveting subject, the Professor decided to lighten the mood slightly.
He pointed to a young woman in the front row and said: "Do you know what your asshole is doing while your'e having an orgasm.". She replied: Probably fishing with his mates.
And one the lads might like.
A nice Fairy Tale
One day, long, long ago...... there lived a woman who did not whine, nag or b...h.
But it was a long time ago, and it was just that one day.
The End.
The white guy shivers and says "oooh its cold"
The black guy says "It's deep too"
Ahaha I love that one.
A Professor was giving a lecture to his first year medical students on "Involuntary Muscle Contraction". Realising that this was the most riveting subject, the Professor decided to lighten the mood slightly.
He pointed to a young woman in the front row and said: "Do you know what your asshole is doing while your'e having an orgasm.". She replied: Probably fishing with his mates.
And one the lads might like.
A nice Fairy Tale
One day, long, long ago...... there lived a woman who did not whine, nag or b...h.
But it was a long time ago, and it was just that one day.
The End.
E
el chupacabra
Guest
The FBI had an opening for an assassin. After all the background checks, interviews and testing were done, there were 3 finalists; two men and a woman. For the final test, the FBI agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun. “We must know that you will follow your instructions no matter what the circumstances?
Inside the room you will find your wife sitting in a chair . . . Kill her!!” The man said, “You can’t be serious. I could never shoot my wife.” The agent said, “Then you’re not the right man for this job. Take your wife and go home.”
The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about 5 minutes. The man came out with tears in his eyes, “I tried, but I can’t kill my wife.” The agent said, You don’t have what it takes. Take your wife home.”
Finally, it was the woman’s turn. She was given the same instructions, to kill her husband. She took the gun and went into the room. Shots were heard, one after another. They heard screaming, crashing, banging on the walls. After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the woman, wiping the sweat from her brow. “This gun is loaded with blanks” she said. “I had to beat him to death with the chair.”
Inside the room you will find your wife sitting in a chair . . . Kill her!!” The man said, “You can’t be serious. I could never shoot my wife.” The agent said, “Then you’re not the right man for this job. Take your wife and go home.”
The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about 5 minutes. The man came out with tears in his eyes, “I tried, but I can’t kill my wife.” The agent said, You don’t have what it takes. Take your wife home.”
Finally, it was the woman’s turn. She was given the same instructions, to kill her husband. She took the gun and went into the room. Shots were heard, one after another. They heard screaming, crashing, banging on the walls. After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the woman, wiping the sweat from her brow. “This gun is loaded with blanks” she said. “I had to beat him to death with the chair.”
E
el chupacabra
Guest
The FBI had an opening for an assassin. After all the background checks, interviews and testing were done, there were 3 finalists; two men and a woman. For the final test, the FBI agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun. “We must know that you will follow your instructions no matter what the circumstances?
Inside the room you will find your wife sitting in a chair . . . Kill her!!” The man said, “You can’t be serious. I could never shoot my wife.” The agent said, “Then you’re not the right man for this job. Take your wife and go home.”
The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about 5 minutes. The man came out with tears in his eyes, “I tried, but I can’t kill my wife.” The agent said, You don’t have what it takes. Take your wife home.”
Finally, it was the woman’s turn. She was given the same instructions, to kill her husband. She took the gun and went into the room. Shots were heard, one after another. They heard screaming, crashing, banging on the walls. After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the woman, wiping the sweat from her brow. “This gun is loaded with blanks” she said. “I had to beat him to death with the chair.”
Inside the room you will find your wife sitting in a chair . . . Kill her!!” The man said, “You can’t be serious. I could never shoot my wife.” The agent said, “Then you’re not the right man for this job. Take your wife and go home.”
The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about 5 minutes. The man came out with tears in his eyes, “I tried, but I can’t kill my wife.” The agent said, You don’t have what it takes. Take your wife home.”
Finally, it was the woman’s turn. She was given the same instructions, to kill her husband. She took the gun and went into the room. Shots were heard, one after another. They heard screaming, crashing, banging on the walls. After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the woman, wiping the sweat from her brow. “This gun is loaded with blanks” she said. “I had to beat him to death with the chair.”