What is the first step?

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OCDWife

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Hi--

I am new and have a question that is going to appear very naive:

Six months ago I discovered some disturbing material my husband had squirreled away in the attic. I won't go into detail on this post, but the entire confrontation ended with him seeking psychological help and being diagnosed with OCD and PTSD.

At the time I discovered the other material, I also found empty vodka bottles in his dresser (under clothes) as well as hidden behind towels in his bathroom. When I checked our liquor cabinet, I realized that, rather than alcohol, the bottles had been refilled with water or tea.

He has been in therapy for several months, however I continue to find bottles hidden around the house. His therapist is a little "new age" in her approach, and although my husband assures me he is honest with her, I am beginning to fear he has an alcohol addiction that is not being addressed.

While he has always "handled his liquor well", I noticed this past week that his behavior is becoming increasingly erratic. I smelled alcohol on his clothes and breath, and think he is probably self-medicating again. I've also noticed that he has become very paranoid about being pulled over in the car; he is using cruise control now when driving down residential streets in an effort to stay within speed limits...

Where I do I start to get him help? My confidence in his current therapist is not strong-- and I am shocked that she has not addressed this issue more (although I cannot be sure he has been completely upfront about the drinking.) I realize he has multiple issues-- but is it appropriate to suggest multiple therapists?
 
Does he like this therapist?

Is there any therapy time with the 3 of you, or is it all one-on-one between him and the therapist? Does the therapist know of your concerns? Or is it all up to your husband to reveal them to her?

Here's my concern. When you have the types of problems your husband has a big part of the issue of recovery is leaving the comfort zone of the illness. And it sounRAB like he's found a way to stall on treatment. He's seeking help, but the "help" is accomplishing nothing. So he's buying time to still practice all of his illness before it really gets hard and he has to start working.

Why would you suggest another therapist rather than just a new one?

I know a lot of folks resist prescrption help but I don't understandl that logic when someone is as ill as it sounRAB like your husband is. It seems me the first step is to get him functioning to where he can appreciate the impact of behavioural therapy. If you agree with that, this therapist isn't going to get him there very fast. If multiple therapists is the way to get him more help, that's better than no change. But he definitely neeRAB something more dramatic than what he's being given. And it sounRAB to me like this person is someone he might be able to grow with in 6 months after he's had some stronger intervention and is more ready to work on behavioural steps.
 
Thanks for the response-- you raise a very good point. This therapy is not effective because my husband is not in a position to really participate.

To date, the therapy has all been between my husband and his therapist; I have never been invited to participate, so the therapist only knows what my husband chooses to disclose. When he initially began going, I asked him if he had told her about the laundry list of symptoms, to which he responded, "She told me I don't need to tell you anything. What we discuss is between her and me." I respect that there is a need for confidentiality, but this pretty well shut me out of the process. I am beginning to understand that this is not going to work-- I'm allowing a very ill person to take all responsibility for his treatment. No wonder nothing seems to be improving.

Thanks again-- you have given me some serious food for thought.
 
Just wondering how things are going with you. Sort of a check in to see if there have been any changes in your husband's approach to the therapy.
 
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