What happens to those who cant be saved?

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crazynut

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I try to look at the positive: Battling impending doom frequently desensitizes one to the fear of death. I get panic attacks from time to time and have beared them since about 2000. Over time, I've learned to accept that aside from taking medication to mitigate the chaos, the outcome is beyond my control. When pseudo death becomes genuine death, I won't have a say one way or the other. And I feel now that when the true moment arrives, I'll be less fearful.

Why do people play the lottery when there's so little chance they'll ever win? Because there's a chance, and if you don't play, you can't win. Likewise with life.
 
Just had a thought. I've read articles and I notice a lot of them say most people can overcome their panic attacks. What happens to those who don't? It really scares me when I think about it.
 
That's an interesting way of looking at it. I think its great.

Well, I'm less than 2 days away from my appointment at the hospital for my mental evaluation. If I somehow can find the courage to go, it would be the first time since last summer that I have actually gone more than 1 block away from my home.

I got a letter in the mail Friday reminding me of the appointment. Now before I got this letter, I was having a hard time convincing myself I was going to be able to go the appointment, but when I read it was on the 5th floor, it my heart sank. The 5th freaking floor. At that very moment I thought to myself "Screw it, theres no way in hell I'm going to this for sure." Now here I am only a little more than 1.5 days away from my appointment and I want to go very badly and get help, but I honestly can't see how I'm going to get through this. My grandparents are coming by to take me, but I still can't see myself going. My anxiety is high enough while I'm sitting at home all day. The thought of me actually getting a car for 5-10 minutes going far away from my safe zone and going to the 5th floor seems impossible. I honestly don't believe I can go to the end of the block without having a major panic attack let alone a few miles away. I could try and lay down in the backseat listening to music and closing my eyes, but I don't expect that to distract me long enough. I can just imagine having a full blown panic attack midway through the trip. What the hell would I do then? Throw myself out of the car or walk out into the street with cars driving by looking like a complete psycho? Just thinking about it pisses me off. I don't know what to do. I don't know if I'll ever leave the house again and I just feel hopeless.
 
you know after 3 years of suffering from anxiety and panic attacks i ask myself the same question ~ i cannot tell you how many times i have been on the floor in my bathroom in the middle of a full-blown ~ all out ~ life shattering panic attack saying "i cannot live like this" over and over and over again yet here i am ~ still living ~ ok truth be told i am not "living" at all i am simply "alive" as panic has taken everything beautiful and wonderful and enjoyable away from me ~ i often say in the middle of an attack "just end it all now" because seriously what is the point of making it thru the panic only to know in an hour or two or twelve it will be back again ~ i wish i had the answer to that question ~ i know my "life" has not been the same since my first panic attack and i also know the MD in the ER told me last time i was there for the same old " i know i am dying" (but of course i wasn't) visit that if i did not get my panic until control it would kill me ~ so maybe some of us cannot be saved but i sure don't want to believe that ~ i continue to struggle and fight and pray on a daily basis that i beat this and i hope you will continue on with your fight as well ~ keep the faith ~
 
I'd be lying if I said I could relate directly, Alacrity. My anxiety has to do with low self esteem and a fear of people. I was a victim of child abuse and even though people tell me I'm smart, good looking, and have great potential, I don't know that I'll ever see myself that way. Getting out of the house has always been my escape. Sometimes I'll drive 100 miles around the area for no reason other than the feeling of freedom it gives me. I guess it's good I have a high MPG car to do that in. lol

What can I tell you? You've no doubt heard plenty of inspirational aphorisms. Reading your story, I can relate only in this way: Criticism weighs heavily on me because I was criticized so much as a child. I'm afraid worRAB will turn to blows and I'll get physically hurt like I've been so many times. Role Playing Games have brought me a modicum of peace because they empower me. When I have to do something that brings heavy anxiety, like speak in front of a lot of people, I remeraber the songs from those games (e.g., Lunar: The Silver Star Story, the final battle against Ghaleon - "Go, Go, Go!") , and I pretend I'm there to save the world, and that no one else can do it. Perhaps a little childish, but is it any less puerile to imagine people in their underwear? :jester:

We're no doubt different, but I've always been a big picture thinker. I believe your worRAB and the strife you'll endure going to that evaluation. I try to put myself in your shoes, and as I said, I can only imagine.

Think about it in this way: Only you can do this. Don't be afraid to demonize the anxiety and the panic; it's your enemy, after all. It's the villain ensnaring the prosperity of success. It's the foe of peace in your life. Serenity is something we all strive for: In ourselves, in our communities and nations, and in the world. And it doesn't happen without people with the courage to stare down the uncertainty of doubt; the brazenness to spit in the face of scoundrels; to keep a cool spirit and a level head when there's a blaze all around, hungry and dribbling black smoke, kindled by a crave to consume the constructs of progress.

You can extinguish it, if only for a time until the next threat burns. You've got to do this, not only for yourself, but for the people who love you and will be loved by you. The people who need a sign that they too can move on. You're their inspiration, Alacrity. Show the enemy what you've got.
 
Thanks man, your post has helped me see this differently. It's definitely inspiring. I do appreciate it very much.

Theres one final thing I'd just like to ask/kinda get off my chest before tomorrow morning that made my anxiety very bad last night. For some reason I decided to read an article about literally "being scared to death". I now wish I didn't because its only made my anxiety worse since last night. So I was reading it and this doctor said that being literally scared to death was possible. He also mentioned the fight or flight response and said that some people died because they felt there was no way out. That sounRAB very much like what a panic attack sufferer goes through. But I personally haven't heard of any panic attack sufferer dying. And once again being a moron, I continued to look for an answer and all I did was dig myself in a deeper hole. I found another article and the title said something like 'Lady dies from panic attack in elevator". I guess the elevator broke and she was stuck in there for 2 hours and died. I didn't read anymore after that since I was already very scared. Then I thought "well, what if I go to the hospital, have panic attacks constantly on the way there and while I'm there, and after several hours my heart gives out due to stress and I die. I don't know how this will sound to other people but its worried me all day today. Its been a very tough day. I'd just like some comfort before I head out tomorrow and be reassured that I won't die I guess because its a really terrible feeling. Thanks for reading.
 
Hi,
I had some severe panic attacks a few years before i was dianosed with 2 autoimmune diseases..so I know what mean about them..mine came in the night about a hour after i went to sleep....I came out of my bed like a animal who was being murdered..it was awful...they finally after seems like awhile put me on xanax..i hate meRAB as I am very holistic...but took a half a one at nite before bed..that stopped it..so began feeling better but did take 3 months to feel more normal...in 2005 i was dx'd with graves disease and hashimoptos thyroiditis..both as I said auto immune....it is 2010 and still am sealing with those 2 somewhat but have got on vit d3 2000 mg a day and magnesium and calcium and eating fresh fooRAB and cutting out most meats altho i do eat some now and again!
But found out that in thyroid disease ..symptoms can show up years before the disease does..!
I hope all is well with you and things have improved.;)
 
Wow, thats crazy. I wish you the best for your appointment.

I also fear that I will not be saved. It scares me thinking that I may never get better. I cant imagine living the rest of my life like this. Itd just be too much too handle if it didnt get any better. All we can do is hope. :(
 
I'm so sorry to hear that. :( You're a very strong person though. My anxiety has gotten a lot worse over the past year. I'm scared to think of where I'll be 1 year from now id I don't get any help. I am constantly worrying over the craziest things. Some of those things that I think noone other than myself think about. I can barely go out the front door. I can barely go outside to throw out the trash. My favorite time of the day is going to bed because I know at the very least I'll have at least 8 hours of as close to peace as I can get. I don't enjoy waking up because I know its only a matter of when not if I'll start worrying and feel my anxiety going up. I can't enjoy life anymore. I don't know if I ever will again. I have an appointment at the hospital may 4th for a mental evaluation. Im not looking forward to that. Its only about 5-7 minutes from my house but I can barely get out of my house. I dont know how im going to do in a car.
 
I dont know how to keep dealing with this. Its just really taken its toll on me. Yesterday and today has been really tough on me. I just cant take this crap anymore. I dont know what to do anymore.
 
We are twins then. I look forward to sleeping because that is my "escape" and the only time I feel peace. I also hate waking up, because I wake up into a nightmare every day.

I ALSO have an appt at the hospital in a couple weeks for an evaluation.

I worry about every and anything too.

wish you all the best.
 
i agree. i dread waking up in the morning, even if i feel 'okay' because i know it's only a matter of time before the doomy feeling sets in and i start to eat benzos like candy, then get tired and nap. i haven't worked in a year, and i've had panic attacks for over 10 years. it's just getting worse, i'm going to be 40 this year and have spent all of my thirties in a panic haze doing nothing in my life but going to hospitals, doctors, being 'sick' of something or another and doing nothing at all....
 
im the same way everyday is a panic ever since 4 years ago when my pap died and i had my first panic attack been to doctors for my heart and lungs had ekg's had chest x-rays had blood work done had echocardiogram everything came back normal i used to be an avid active person being outside and riding bikes playing sports now i just hang around avoid physicall things i think might cause the panic attack it has really taken over my life ive talked to shrinks same stuff they tell me just try to forget what your feeling but thats impossible when your chest is in agony and your heart is racing or how can someone forget the breathless feelings when i go to the store now i hurry to get out i have a fear of dying in like public places and now i talk quieter and parents dont get it most of the time if they never had panic attacks once you have a panic attack the fear is always there that another is coming.
 
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