TV
Why? Because everybody's got their noses glued to a tube that tells you what it wants you to think. George Orwell had no idea how bad it could get. Oh, and you're a big fat weenie wuss if you don't buy that gas guzzling he-man Ford truck, built tough, just like you. Ask your doctor about the newest anti-depression pill. Side effects may include death, vomiting, or spontaneous combustion. If you use Brawny towels, you might just have a torrid affair with a buff lumberjack.