On very rare occasions I want to say out loud what happened when I was little, just to get it out of my head. Even though numbers like that of RAINN apparently don’t show up on the phone bill, I’d be petrified that my parents would still find out (I’ve worked too hard to hide it only to have it ruined with one phone call); what if a fluke occurred and it showed up or something?
I also just honestly want advice on what to do in regards to school from someone who knows that my perfectionism is intertwined with what happened (except a helpline can’t give me that; plus, I've handled what happened for all of these years, so there's no reason for me to suddenly be having a problem).
Do you have to talk directly about what happened with RAINN? Because I’m confused as to how I feel and wouldn’t know what to say about it. It’s late, so one moment I’m feeling sick and upset over the past and the next I’m upset over school. Are you allowed to ask them to talk about stuff that stems from what happened (like perfectionism)? I don’t know what to do, because the secret is overwhelming my mind and my school obsession mixes in with it and makes me want to quit school (I work hard, have all 100s, have big goals, etc., but I have no idea what’s going on with me anymore).
I don’t know. I can’t ask them for help though, because they’re busy and someone else out there needs their advice.
Am I completely stupid for honestly not having any idea what to do? I can’t believe once again this is all over school. Is it bad to want advice from others on what to do? It wasn’t until I developed my eating disorder that I realized I could anonymously tell people stuff and it opened up some sort of floodgate, because I had never before told anyone anything. Is it sick that everything comes back to school with me?
I appreciate your time.
I also just honestly want advice on what to do in regards to school from someone who knows that my perfectionism is intertwined with what happened (except a helpline can’t give me that; plus, I've handled what happened for all of these years, so there's no reason for me to suddenly be having a problem).
Do you have to talk directly about what happened with RAINN? Because I’m confused as to how I feel and wouldn’t know what to say about it. It’s late, so one moment I’m feeling sick and upset over the past and the next I’m upset over school. Are you allowed to ask them to talk about stuff that stems from what happened (like perfectionism)? I don’t know what to do, because the secret is overwhelming my mind and my school obsession mixes in with it and makes me want to quit school (I work hard, have all 100s, have big goals, etc., but I have no idea what’s going on with me anymore).
I don’t know. I can’t ask them for help though, because they’re busy and someone else out there needs their advice.
Am I completely stupid for honestly not having any idea what to do? I can’t believe once again this is all over school. Is it bad to want advice from others on what to do? It wasn’t until I developed my eating disorder that I realized I could anonymously tell people stuff and it opened up some sort of floodgate, because I had never before told anyone anything. Is it sick that everything comes back to school with me?
I appreciate your time.