My poem. What do you think. I'm 14 and i have a lot of troubles... what does this poem say to you? Do you think it is deep enough?
Anything to add?
Any improvements?
This poem is about me and my life. I hope you like it x
Untitled
A black hole, sinking deeper and deeper,
swallowing you down,
Squeezing every bit of life left inside until you can't breathe,
A tight wrap around your saddened, throbbing heart,
Broken with pain,
The anger inside shattering through your body in one shock,
And the hole getting smaller and smaller,
Trapping you forever, no escape...
Your brain aching with every thought running through your head,
aching with the fear you will have to live another day in this trap,
throbbing inside your skull until it could burst,
But still you live.
You can't find the tears when you want to cry,
but the tears flood over you when you wish to stay calm,
streams, rivers being created over your red – patched face,
creating clear sheets of fear.
When left alone, you think of the way you hate yourself,
why you are here,
you, the very thing you absolutely despise,
yet you are it.
Fire flickers in your eyes with the rage you feel as you realise you are what you hate,
everything you have ever known,
you,
Paining,
the dread,
the fear,
the fear of everything bad,
the fear of yourself,
the fear of that very weakness you have,
and it hurts.
But all you can do is try your best,
love the people you love,
love the people you HATE
and fight through this black hole,
to triumph through life,
in the best way you can.
i am already a strong christian... i found jesus myself. Sorry x
Anything to add?
Any improvements?
This poem is about me and my life. I hope you like it x
Untitled
A black hole, sinking deeper and deeper,
swallowing you down,
Squeezing every bit of life left inside until you can't breathe,
A tight wrap around your saddened, throbbing heart,
Broken with pain,
The anger inside shattering through your body in one shock,
And the hole getting smaller and smaller,
Trapping you forever, no escape...
Your brain aching with every thought running through your head,
aching with the fear you will have to live another day in this trap,
throbbing inside your skull until it could burst,
But still you live.
You can't find the tears when you want to cry,
but the tears flood over you when you wish to stay calm,
streams, rivers being created over your red – patched face,
creating clear sheets of fear.
When left alone, you think of the way you hate yourself,
why you are here,
you, the very thing you absolutely despise,
yet you are it.
Fire flickers in your eyes with the rage you feel as you realise you are what you hate,
everything you have ever known,
you,
Paining,
the dread,
the fear,
the fear of everything bad,
the fear of yourself,
the fear of that very weakness you have,
and it hurts.
But all you can do is try your best,
love the people you love,
love the people you HATE
and fight through this black hole,
to triumph through life,
in the best way you can.
i am already a strong christian... i found jesus myself. Sorry x