What does anyone think of this poem please, i'm 15!?

  • Thread starter Thread starter alligatorhair
  • Start date Start date
A

alligatorhair

Guest
i wrote this poem for my teacher who is leaving school soon to go to a new school. i'm really sad she is leaving as she has helped me soo much over the past years with everything, as in mental health stuff :P

anyway...please can i have honest opinions on the poem.. =] thank you x x

Week after week
You’ve put up with me
I’ve been a handful
I’m sure you’ll agree

You know I hate school,
and most of the people there,
you know I don’t like coming in
or the uniform we wear

Your understanding and patient
Firm but fair
You’re a real fantastic teacher
But unfortunately rare


Not only did you give support
And kept me half on track
But you gave me the confidence to get to school
And kept on my back

this is a genuine thank you for the last few years
it means so much more to me than what it appears
my family, my black belt is all down to you
and without you by my side
don’t know what I would do

i need to add an ending just wishing her luck in her new school though!!

thanks every one :o)
thank you so much guys, you are so encouraging :o) xxx
 
You don't need an ending, it ends well as it is anymore would over kill.
Great poem I liked it.
If you don't write regularly you should start.
 
its REALLY amazing but this part

"But unfortunately rare" is a little strange...i mean thats fortunate...being one of a kind is VERY fortunate...so i mean...idk what youd replace that with...but yeah dude...being rare is DEFINITELY fortunate...everybody wants to be one of a kind you know?

okay im done blabbering...GREAT POEM!
 
i love it! =]im studying english literature at as level and from a structural point of view you have alliteration, enjambement and some rhyming. Its straight from the heart and i think thats what matters. Im sure your teacher will love it and it might even bring a tear to her eye. I really think you should continue to write poems, i always find poem writing very theraputic and i think you do have a talant.

good luck with your ending!
 
i love it! =]im studying english literature at as level and from a structural point of view you have alliteration, enjambement and some rhyming. Its straight from the heart and i think thats what matters. Im sure your teacher will love it and it might even bring a tear to her eye. I really think you should continue to write poems, i always find poem writing very theraputic and i think you do have a talant.

good luck with your ending!
 
Back
Top