I
ii need my email!!=[
Guest
I'm really asking for more of a critique of my poem:Thank you.
Its basically a free write that I'm hoping to make a decent poem out of,with your help of course!=]
And I already know my grammar it past terrible,along with my punctuation!
Poem:Thank you
what has life been for you,
theres never nothing to do,
I thank god he didnt make school,
becasue school has so many fools, so many storys, so much gossip to tell,
Has it ever occured to you god treats us all TOO well...?
like this is not our planet,its his,
but what do we? buy and sell it...
my my, us humans are so selfish...more than we know. but dont blame yourself, for you must have an open mind to know.
he gives us food,the mind and the power so we can learn to cook food,
he give us water to drink,and free will....
and what do we do?we ask him why he made me late for work!
we ask him why must YOU create violence in human kind!!!
I hear why, I here humans like you and I cry to him...
he listens and takes his time, after all hes done for us , do we have a right to rush him?
I hear these whys, and hear these more than an oh so simple word..
i dont here to many of u humans shouting:
THANKYOU !!!
to the heavens above.
Its basically a free write that I'm hoping to make a decent poem out of,with your help of course!=]
And I already know my grammar it past terrible,along with my punctuation!
Poem:Thank you
what has life been for you,
theres never nothing to do,
I thank god he didnt make school,
becasue school has so many fools, so many storys, so much gossip to tell,
Has it ever occured to you god treats us all TOO well...?
like this is not our planet,its his,
but what do we? buy and sell it...
my my, us humans are so selfish...more than we know. but dont blame yourself, for you must have an open mind to know.
he gives us food,the mind and the power so we can learn to cook food,
he give us water to drink,and free will....
and what do we do?we ask him why he made me late for work!
we ask him why must YOU create violence in human kind!!!
I hear why, I here humans like you and I cry to him...
he listens and takes his time, after all hes done for us , do we have a right to rush him?
I hear these whys, and hear these more than an oh so simple word..
i dont here to many of u humans shouting:
THANKYOU !!!
to the heavens above.