Lonely poet
New member
This is only second song I wrote I'm just beginning to write lyrics so I'm pretty new to this. the singing part would sort of be like alesana while the talking would be a low somewhat dark growling sense that is very easy to make out of (honest opinion on what you think it's about and yes its all true) constructive criticism is really appreciated also some tips would be very helpful thank you 
(talking)
I’m laying here in this bed thinking, crying, in a almost endless battle for my own sanity, thoughts of you driving to the brink of suicide but my dear love that is something you will never know no mater how much I wish you to, it can never happen, for my own selfish desire shall tear us apart.
All I can ever do, is lay and think you
But this one action will be my very, end it’s true…
So what is wrong with me?
You’re an angle I see, The who can set me free
But for real your nothing but a ghost …
(talking)
I was a fool to let you play with my heart through texted communication you tour me apart
In your twisted words you promise you loved me, but at the same time we could never be
Your words I understand but if I’m so special, why is everyone with you?
When I rot alone
So please just visit me, I never cried you see
So I could never in a million years ever hurt you…
I always wanted to be, your true love with just you and me
But I guess that I don’t deserve you, when I’m compared to this shallow world…
(talking)
So this is my end in a cold bath tub with the toaster of salvation, I drop to end this pain but at the last second, The plug fell out and in my brain all I could say was…
Fuck…
You’re my own demon, but you’re my angle to
And I want to just see you
But all I can ever be is your burden…
(talking)
We both fucked up you and I… are mistakes can never go to waist so I guess I’ll try to make something of it maybe as some sort of encouragement to fix my own life so that maybe one day I wont be so fucked up and maybe that will make you love me again…
So don’t ever waist your tears, And try to face these fears
So hopefully you wont end up like me…..
(talking)
I’m laying here in this bed thinking, crying, in a almost endless battle for my own sanity, thoughts of you driving to the brink of suicide but my dear love that is something you will never know no mater how much I wish you to, it can never happen, for my own selfish desire shall tear us apart.
All I can ever do, is lay and think you
But this one action will be my very, end it’s true…
So what is wrong with me?
You’re an angle I see, The who can set me free
But for real your nothing but a ghost …
(talking)
I was a fool to let you play with my heart through texted communication you tour me apart
In your twisted words you promise you loved me, but at the same time we could never be
Your words I understand but if I’m so special, why is everyone with you?
When I rot alone
So please just visit me, I never cried you see
So I could never in a million years ever hurt you…
I always wanted to be, your true love with just you and me
But I guess that I don’t deserve you, when I’m compared to this shallow world…
(talking)
So this is my end in a cold bath tub with the toaster of salvation, I drop to end this pain but at the last second, The plug fell out and in my brain all I could say was…
Fuck…
You’re my own demon, but you’re my angle to
And I want to just see you
But all I can ever be is your burden…
(talking)
We both fucked up you and I… are mistakes can never go to waist so I guess I’ll try to make something of it maybe as some sort of encouragement to fix my own life so that maybe one day I wont be so fucked up and maybe that will make you love me again…
So don’t ever waist your tears, And try to face these fears
So hopefully you wont end up like me…..