What do you think of this poem?

  • Thread starter Thread starter Alen W
  • Start date Start date
A

Alen W

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QUESTIONS

my mother

she just gazes over
fear water fire slaughter
and makes the wind dance
care
free
gentle
still
in harmony with death

and so forevermore
will be i know
the purple air
will
rise
and
fall
for you a rose
one of youthful blooming life
for me
will never more
matters not i know

fruitless
such a ponder mine
if i am her son
for the sands of time
just go
and you wont wait for me at all

i am alone
but did I wish it to be so
did i bring this upon my soul ?

a single cloud in a purple sky
left behind by summer's ugly storm
soon will fade away
far away from sunny place
from where you look up now

but what for?
 
I like it a lot, just would edit out line three from the end and put a sunny place or something like that
 
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