What do you think of this poem?

J

justin humphires

New member
I wrote this for my rat who died recently...


To see the lifeless corpse of something that loved and cared for is a disturbing thing
may it be large or small
human or vermin
it still felt pain
it still felt love
it still had life
life without it... is strange
life without it... is cold
all I can do now is sleep
dream of better days...
when it was there
always there
something for me to care...
I miss it already
but its gone nothing will bring it back
yet life lives on
This poem was pure emotion nothing else I didn't bother to fix it up just so that I could see the raw feeling behind it
 
What an interesting perspective on life.... I quite like the way it's so truthful. I mean anyone could write something similar but with an emptyness that doesn't feel right.
I'm glad you wrote it for a reason, it gave a real feeling behind it >.<
In the beginning line, it says "... something that loved and cared for..." was that supposed to be something I loved and cared for? Not sure, thought I might ask.
Hmmm, it also leaves a lot of doors open for the mind to interpret the poem the way it wants to, and I'm sure, whomever reads this will have a different view on the poem and what it means to them.
Quite well structured and flowing.
I like it.
 
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