Wannabewritin
New member
This is a new poem that I just wrote, it's not perfect yet it still needs editing before I post it on my blog site, but I've kinda hit a wall and wondered if someone could give me a fresh perspective on the changes i should make. Thanks
You tell me that you love me
So why don't I believe you?
You tell me that I'm special
So is why is my heart crushed?
You say you never meant to hurt me
But you did.
You can't take back the things you've done,
the words you said that made me run.
You don't know how my heart is breaking
All the pain I sat there taking
I can't take it anymore,
I'm finally through
I hope somewhere theres a better life
One for me, and one for you
Your no longer my forever
So its time to say, Goodbye.
It's not the style I normally write it's not as much on rhyme. Any comments and Critiquing welcome.
You tell me that you love me
So why don't I believe you?
You tell me that I'm special
So is why is my heart crushed?
You say you never meant to hurt me
But you did.
You can't take back the things you've done,
the words you said that made me run.
You don't know how my heart is breaking
All the pain I sat there taking
I can't take it anymore,
I'm finally through
I hope somewhere theres a better life
One for me, and one for you
Your no longer my forever
So its time to say, Goodbye.
It's not the style I normally write it's not as much on rhyme. Any comments and Critiquing welcome.