what do you think of this piece of writing..?

[BoysLikeGirls..XxYeah O.o]

Yesterday i posted a Poem that i wrote and well.. bordem took me over again so i decided to write another. just want to know what you guys think! thanks
*no title*

I saw you through blood shot eyes
The day you uttered feeble cries
Oblivious to your anger and pain
I took your misery used it as my own gain
Used it to torment you whenever i could
I never knew whether i really should
Was forced to by my own kind
Never had control over my own mind
But the misery that you portray
Was once mine too My dear
Its just that you haven’t a clue
I know just what to do
I’ll take your hand and we shall run
Fast then faster like the beat of drum
We’ll finally be safe like we dream to be
All we have to do is flee
Flee this anguish that we suffered
For days, months,years
The never ending stab of fear
So take my hand my love
And We’ll be free

i take criticism =) x but please be nice about it.. x
the I saw you through blood shot eyes was meant to be a person either tired or in pain someone watching in the distance
the person was crying and the person watching could hear them

 

[Pudn Pie]

I reely reely liked it ......especially the "the never ending stabs of fear".....Uhm the only thing was I didn't completely get it....Like I picked up tht they were a couple...but At first it seems angry....Just the very beggining was a little confusing....like the story line behind it was a little hard to pick up the feelings on it.