Laura Kantore
New member
Basically, what the title says. Does it intrigue you and hold your attention? Do you have any suggestions to make this rough draft better?
(A quick note: Trey and Demetrius are the same person. "Trey" is just a nickname.)
Nick sighed and allowed his opened jaw to go slack, cutting off any words that could have come from his mouth. He then cleared his throat and folded his hands on the wooden tabletop. “Well,” he said in a gruff voice to Kat. “You’ve got yourself mixed up in quite the predicament.”
“It wasn’t Kat’s fault,” Demetrius said defensively. “Montaq started this all.”
“No,” Nick replied to his son. “You started this all when you got close to the girl. Don’t try to shift the blame.”
“You were the one who assigned me to tutor her,” Demetrius spat back, his shoulders stiffening against the back of his chair. “You have to take some of the blame, too.”
“Alright, can we stop the blaming and get to the point?” Kat interrupted. “I know about Shadows. I know about Hunters. End of story. It doesn’t matter who let me figure it out.”
Nick fidgeted his interlocked fingers. “The only story this is ending is your normal life, Kat. You’re involved now. Dangerously involved.”
“Good,” Kat said. “I want to be involved. I’m tired of all the secrets and lying. I don’t care if being involved means knowing my pen pal is a monster. I just have to know the truth.”
“Nick, she’s right,” Demetrius said. “She’s already this far into it. It can’t hurt to let her in on the rest of our world.”
Nick shook his head and reached a weathered hand up to rub his temples. “Trey, you don’t realize what you’re saying.”
“I’m saying trust her.”
“You’re practically begging for the Sentinel to get involved! I’ve just convinced them not to kill you. What do you think they’ll say when they find you’re telling humans about Shadows? And I won’t even bother to mention the problems we could have with the Sinfael. You know their rules.”
“Nick, you just said yourself that I’m already involved in this,” Kat said. “It couldn’t hurt to tell me just a little more, could it?”
(A quick note: Trey and Demetrius are the same person. "Trey" is just a nickname.)
Nick sighed and allowed his opened jaw to go slack, cutting off any words that could have come from his mouth. He then cleared his throat and folded his hands on the wooden tabletop. “Well,” he said in a gruff voice to Kat. “You’ve got yourself mixed up in quite the predicament.”
“It wasn’t Kat’s fault,” Demetrius said defensively. “Montaq started this all.”
“No,” Nick replied to his son. “You started this all when you got close to the girl. Don’t try to shift the blame.”
“You were the one who assigned me to tutor her,” Demetrius spat back, his shoulders stiffening against the back of his chair. “You have to take some of the blame, too.”
“Alright, can we stop the blaming and get to the point?” Kat interrupted. “I know about Shadows. I know about Hunters. End of story. It doesn’t matter who let me figure it out.”
Nick fidgeted his interlocked fingers. “The only story this is ending is your normal life, Kat. You’re involved now. Dangerously involved.”
“Good,” Kat said. “I want to be involved. I’m tired of all the secrets and lying. I don’t care if being involved means knowing my pen pal is a monster. I just have to know the truth.”
“Nick, she’s right,” Demetrius said. “She’s already this far into it. It can’t hurt to let her in on the rest of our world.”
Nick shook his head and reached a weathered hand up to rub his temples. “Trey, you don’t realize what you’re saying.”
“I’m saying trust her.”
“You’re practically begging for the Sentinel to get involved! I’ve just convinced them not to kill you. What do you think they’ll say when they find you’re telling humans about Shadows? And I won’t even bother to mention the problems we could have with the Sinfael. You know their rules.”
“Nick, you just said yourself that I’m already involved in this,” Kat said. “It couldn’t hurt to tell me just a little more, could it?”