What do you think of this blurb and would you want to read this book?

Dark Angel

New member
I had never met anyone like him, he had stolen my sleep, my laughter, his voice was all i needed to hear to be happy... What would i do without him?

Kim is a 16 year old sent off to live with her dad in canada, at first she hates it, but then she meets Lucas, the strange, quiet boy and she is intriugued, but just as she becomes happy there is news in England and she must return home, will her relationship survive the distance?
 
*headdesk*

I would drop a book with this blurb back on the shelf as if it burnt me. Sixteen year old moving up north to live with her dad, hates it there until she meets the strange, quiet boy? Sound familiar?

As for the actual blurb...it needs some work. The grammar is off, for one, but we'll brush that aside for now. Ignoring its Twilight-esque tendencies, it gets me mildly interested in the story...only mildly. I wouldn't be like, "I must read this right away! Oh, cashier, please take my money!" No. Not happening. It's more like, "Meh...maybe I'll glance at it in the library if someone tells me to read it..."

That said, the second part definitely needs to be more than one sentence. Also, I was confused by the "news in England" thing before I realised that she must be from England. Perhaps that should be a bit more clear. My quick correction:

"I had never met anyone like him. He had stolen my sleep, my laughter; his voice was all I needed to hear to be happy.... What would I do without him?

"Sixteen year old Kim is sent across the ocean to live with her dad in Canada. At first, she is miserable, but that's before she meets Lucas, a strange, quiet boy. She is intrigued by him, but just as she becomes happy in Canada, there is news in England and she must return home. Can her relationship survive the distance?"

Still not perfect, but at least it has structure.


(Sorry if I sound a bit more than a little harsh. It's 7:30 AM and I have yet to get to sleep. I'm a tad cranky.)
 
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