W
WhyDoIKeepGettingDeleted?
Guest
Please let me know what you think of it...
and is there anything wrong with the grammar? what's wrong with it?
I finished packing my last box of my stuff. I only had five boxes, two which were filled with my clothes. One filled with childhood memories and toys. The other two? Filled to the brim of books. I smiled and whispered to myself.
“All done”
At that point Lily came bursting in. She wore her long dark brown hair down which reached just above her waist, She had her favourite cap on twisted round backwards. Wearing some old tatty torn jeans and a vest top. You could honestly mistake her for a boy if it wasn’t for her hair and chest.
“where’s my ball?” She cried ripping all my boxes open.
“Lily!” I exclaimed neatly folding them back up.
“where is it?!” She shook her arms frantically “ You haven’t seen it have you?” She questioned.
“I saw Lola with it in the garden yesterday.” I replied.
“What is she doing with it?” Lily frowned. “And its not for playing with!” She literally flew out of the room.
Lily is my 14 year old sister, she’s a sports fanatic. She is on every girl team in our school which has to do with sports. Lily’s most prized possession is her foot ball. She got it when dad took her to her first ever football match four years ago. Somehow she had managed to get all of the players of Arsenal to sign it. Lily is a very popular girl at school with the football mad boys. I had watched her playing football with them in the park once. She was always tackling them down, or doing some sort of trick, scoring goals. I really don’t see how she can do all of it.
I heard a shouting coming from downstairs.
“What do you mean you lost it!” I heard Lily scream.
“I didn’t mean I lost it! It is stuck in the fence!” Lola retaliated.
I crept downstairs and saw Lily storming into the garden. Lola was fluffing up her beautiful brown hair (which was cut into a bob) in the mirror. She pouted her lips and smiled, and caught my eye in the mirror.
“What?” She raised one eyebrow at me.
Lola was dressed in a tight white blouse. Which clung to her and showed every beautiful aspect of her. Her huge chest, flat stomach and such beautiful curves. She was also wearing a black mini-skirt which had a cute pink heart at the bottom. She hardly had a bottom at all.
“Why my little Juliet!” Dad Patted her hair. “Where do you think your going?” He remarked on her outfit.
Lola put on her ‘acting face’ (as I like to call it) then said.
“Oh Romeo! Romeo! You really don’t understand the meaning of fashion!”
Dad laughed and she giggled.
Lola is my other sister. She is fifteen and loves to act, she’s good at it too. I know she wants to be a actress. EVERYONE knows she wants to be a actress. She could make it as a model too but she doesn’t want to be one. She could, she’s that pretty. The boys at school like her for that. Lola is one of the most popular girls in school, not because she’s bad or gives the teachers cheek. Its because she is a very pretty girl as I have said before.
Anyone would think we are a normal family but, there’s one secret we have to keep from everyone. We have Magic Powers. It probably sounds a bit babyish and I know a lot of people would instantly think of like the ‘fairy god mother’ in Cinderella. All that type of overrated magic. I am talking about REAL magic though. For example, Lily , she can run around the world in four seconds! She can even jump as high as a skyscraper! She’s trying to learn how to actually fly…
But she is not allowed to use these powers. Its because we live in a ‘normal’ world as you would call it. Dad and mum let them use them once a month so they don’t get ‘rusty’ as dad calls it. Lola can even actually morph herself into animals! Or other type of creatures! She cant change her appearance or change into another human being. Even though she really wants to find out how.
I haven’t figured out what my powers are yet. Mum and Dad are getting quite worried about me they are testing me out for all sorts of powers. Usually powers start to develop when your about seven. At first they thought I was a late developer. Now at twelve, they’re quite worried.
yes with books.
and is there anything wrong with the grammar? what's wrong with it?
I finished packing my last box of my stuff. I only had five boxes, two which were filled with my clothes. One filled with childhood memories and toys. The other two? Filled to the brim of books. I smiled and whispered to myself.
“All done”
At that point Lily came bursting in. She wore her long dark brown hair down which reached just above her waist, She had her favourite cap on twisted round backwards. Wearing some old tatty torn jeans and a vest top. You could honestly mistake her for a boy if it wasn’t for her hair and chest.
“where’s my ball?” She cried ripping all my boxes open.
“Lily!” I exclaimed neatly folding them back up.
“where is it?!” She shook her arms frantically “ You haven’t seen it have you?” She questioned.
“I saw Lola with it in the garden yesterday.” I replied.
“What is she doing with it?” Lily frowned. “And its not for playing with!” She literally flew out of the room.
Lily is my 14 year old sister, she’s a sports fanatic. She is on every girl team in our school which has to do with sports. Lily’s most prized possession is her foot ball. She got it when dad took her to her first ever football match four years ago. Somehow she had managed to get all of the players of Arsenal to sign it. Lily is a very popular girl at school with the football mad boys. I had watched her playing football with them in the park once. She was always tackling them down, or doing some sort of trick, scoring goals. I really don’t see how she can do all of it.
I heard a shouting coming from downstairs.
“What do you mean you lost it!” I heard Lily scream.
“I didn’t mean I lost it! It is stuck in the fence!” Lola retaliated.
I crept downstairs and saw Lily storming into the garden. Lola was fluffing up her beautiful brown hair (which was cut into a bob) in the mirror. She pouted her lips and smiled, and caught my eye in the mirror.
“What?” She raised one eyebrow at me.
Lola was dressed in a tight white blouse. Which clung to her and showed every beautiful aspect of her. Her huge chest, flat stomach and such beautiful curves. She was also wearing a black mini-skirt which had a cute pink heart at the bottom. She hardly had a bottom at all.
“Why my little Juliet!” Dad Patted her hair. “Where do you think your going?” He remarked on her outfit.
Lola put on her ‘acting face’ (as I like to call it) then said.
“Oh Romeo! Romeo! You really don’t understand the meaning of fashion!”
Dad laughed and she giggled.
Lola is my other sister. She is fifteen and loves to act, she’s good at it too. I know she wants to be a actress. EVERYONE knows she wants to be a actress. She could make it as a model too but she doesn’t want to be one. She could, she’s that pretty. The boys at school like her for that. Lola is one of the most popular girls in school, not because she’s bad or gives the teachers cheek. Its because she is a very pretty girl as I have said before.
Anyone would think we are a normal family but, there’s one secret we have to keep from everyone. We have Magic Powers. It probably sounds a bit babyish and I know a lot of people would instantly think of like the ‘fairy god mother’ in Cinderella. All that type of overrated magic. I am talking about REAL magic though. For example, Lily , she can run around the world in four seconds! She can even jump as high as a skyscraper! She’s trying to learn how to actually fly…
But she is not allowed to use these powers. Its because we live in a ‘normal’ world as you would call it. Dad and mum let them use them once a month so they don’t get ‘rusty’ as dad calls it. Lola can even actually morph herself into animals! Or other type of creatures! She cant change her appearance or change into another human being. Even though she really wants to find out how.
I haven’t figured out what my powers are yet. Mum and Dad are getting quite worried about me they are testing me out for all sorts of powers. Usually powers start to develop when your about seven. At first they thought I was a late developer. Now at twelve, they’re quite worried.
yes with books.