writerhyme
New member
I wrote this ballad for English class, can you please read it over and tell me what you think? Thanks.
The Man with the Glare
‘Twas the year before last and the sun shone so bright
Upon the crisp white snow that was ever alight
With the laughs and the jeers of the cheerful young girls,
Who danced as the played and toppled and twirled.
The old man he sat in his living room chair
And like a portrait he frowned and he stared.
But the girls, they ignored the man with the glare
Until one day when a single knock rung
From the wood of the door, from a small girl so young,
“Good day, sir.” Said the girl to the man
And like and outstretched paw, she held out her hand.
Light danced across her eyes as she started to sing,
To watch her perform was a wonderful thing
So she stood and she sang for the man with the glare
When she finished she stopped and stood still for a while
And looked at the man, waiting for him to smile
But time turned and there was no change
He looked at the girl with a face very strange
He just sat and he stared as though made from stone
Yet as she left the man let out a groan
“Don’t go just yet.” Said the man with the glare
The wind whistled outside as silence surrounded
‘Til the man spoke of something that was quite unfounded
“I haven’t left this house in many a year,
And it has been even longer since another’s been here.
This room is a graveyard, it buried my wife
It’s empty of feeling, it ate up my life.”
The young girl came toward the man with the glare
She took hold of his hand and they walked to the door
Her feet were light while his tread on the floor
She grabbed on to the handle, it screamed as it turned
The sun smiled down, but on him it burned
The old man recoiled, but the girl pulled him on
Sooner than not out into the world he was drawn
And the neighbours they stared at the man with the glare
The man gazed in wonder at the world outside
And memories like a flood came back to his life
“Hello my dear girl,” he looked down at her
“How’s your mum? Your dad? Your baby sister?”
Tears grew in her eyes as she forced a small smile
“Please don’t leave again, it’s been such a while!”
But yet he slowly returned to the man with the glare
‘Twas the year before last and the sun shone so bright
Upon the crisp snow that was ever alight
With the laughs and the jeers of the cheerful young girls
Who danced as they played and toppled and twirled.
The old man he sat in his living room chair,
And like an old portrait he frowned and he stared.
But one girl, she sang for the man with the glare.
The Man with the Glare
‘Twas the year before last and the sun shone so bright
Upon the crisp white snow that was ever alight
With the laughs and the jeers of the cheerful young girls,
Who danced as the played and toppled and twirled.
The old man he sat in his living room chair
And like a portrait he frowned and he stared.
But the girls, they ignored the man with the glare
Until one day when a single knock rung
From the wood of the door, from a small girl so young,
“Good day, sir.” Said the girl to the man
And like and outstretched paw, she held out her hand.
Light danced across her eyes as she started to sing,
To watch her perform was a wonderful thing
So she stood and she sang for the man with the glare
When she finished she stopped and stood still for a while
And looked at the man, waiting for him to smile
But time turned and there was no change
He looked at the girl with a face very strange
He just sat and he stared as though made from stone
Yet as she left the man let out a groan
“Don’t go just yet.” Said the man with the glare
The wind whistled outside as silence surrounded
‘Til the man spoke of something that was quite unfounded
“I haven’t left this house in many a year,
And it has been even longer since another’s been here.
This room is a graveyard, it buried my wife
It’s empty of feeling, it ate up my life.”
The young girl came toward the man with the glare
She took hold of his hand and they walked to the door
Her feet were light while his tread on the floor
She grabbed on to the handle, it screamed as it turned
The sun smiled down, but on him it burned
The old man recoiled, but the girl pulled him on
Sooner than not out into the world he was drawn
And the neighbours they stared at the man with the glare
The man gazed in wonder at the world outside
And memories like a flood came back to his life
“Hello my dear girl,” he looked down at her
“How’s your mum? Your dad? Your baby sister?”
Tears grew in her eyes as she forced a small smile
“Please don’t leave again, it’s been such a while!”
But yet he slowly returned to the man with the glare
‘Twas the year before last and the sun shone so bright
Upon the crisp snow that was ever alight
With the laughs and the jeers of the cheerful young girls
Who danced as they played and toppled and twirled.
The old man he sat in his living room chair,
And like an old portrait he frowned and he stared.
But one girl, she sang for the man with the glare.