I am writing a story and was wondering what others thought of it. Any criticism or comments are welcome and appreciated but please be constructive :3
*~*~*~*Story*~*~*~*
A weak flutter of the eyelids and she was awake. Staring at the ceiling for a moment, confused. The old metal bed frame squeaked as she groggily sat up, her head pounding so hard it made her squint. She looked around the small dimly lit room. Where was she? Glancing around the room there was nothing that looked familiar. There was small single bed that only had a sheet over the mattress and a small table in the corner with one chair. The entire room was cement, though in one corner it had begun to break apart and you could see the wire netting underneath. There were no windows, only a door across the room.
She set her feet down on the floor and put her head in her hands trying to concentrate. Who was she, why couldn't she remember anything? She slowly stood up and looked around the room. Hanging on the wall behind her was a mirror that had a large crack down the middle and the corner was broken, pieces lying on the floor. She didn't even recognise her own reflection. She had brown straight hair that was messy from sleeping. She looked at her eyes more closely in the mirror thinking at first they were contacts. They weren't, her eyes looked almost purple, but other than that she had no other distinct markings, no freckles or moles. She didn't even know how old she was but she looked young, she would only guess about fifteen or sixteen. She was dressed in a blue sweater, jeans, and even still had her sneakers on. She ran her hand through her hair and hit a bump on the back of her head. A small squeal of pain escaped her lips as her body stiffened with pain.
Her own voice surprised her in the silent room. She glanced at the door, what was outside? What type of building was she in? Was she above or beneath ground, she didn’t know anything. Something blue under the bed caught her eye and she knelt down to pull it out. It was a backpack. Carefully opening it up she looked inside and froze. Lying in the bag was an automatic handgun, an extra pack of bullets, and a knife. She reached in and pulled the gun out, a 6 shot 45 magnum. She instantly knew that, it came naturally but how? Pulling the bullets out she noticed right away that they were for a different gun. She stuffed everything into the front pocket of her sweater and attached the knife in the holster to her pants. For some reason a nagging thought poked at the back of her mind so she grabbed a broken piece of mirror and put that in her pocket as well. She cocked the gun, holding it felt natural, familiar. She looked around again trying to remember anything but not a single thing came to her. How could these things feel so normal and yet she had no idea what she was doing? She walked over to the door and leaned against it listening, there was no sound coming from the other side. She turned the handle slowly, it was unlocked.
*~*~*~*Story*~*~*~*
A weak flutter of the eyelids and she was awake. Staring at the ceiling for a moment, confused. The old metal bed frame squeaked as she groggily sat up, her head pounding so hard it made her squint. She looked around the small dimly lit room. Where was she? Glancing around the room there was nothing that looked familiar. There was small single bed that only had a sheet over the mattress and a small table in the corner with one chair. The entire room was cement, though in one corner it had begun to break apart and you could see the wire netting underneath. There were no windows, only a door across the room.
She set her feet down on the floor and put her head in her hands trying to concentrate. Who was she, why couldn't she remember anything? She slowly stood up and looked around the room. Hanging on the wall behind her was a mirror that had a large crack down the middle and the corner was broken, pieces lying on the floor. She didn't even recognise her own reflection. She had brown straight hair that was messy from sleeping. She looked at her eyes more closely in the mirror thinking at first they were contacts. They weren't, her eyes looked almost purple, but other than that she had no other distinct markings, no freckles or moles. She didn't even know how old she was but she looked young, she would only guess about fifteen or sixteen. She was dressed in a blue sweater, jeans, and even still had her sneakers on. She ran her hand through her hair and hit a bump on the back of her head. A small squeal of pain escaped her lips as her body stiffened with pain.
Her own voice surprised her in the silent room. She glanced at the door, what was outside? What type of building was she in? Was she above or beneath ground, she didn’t know anything. Something blue under the bed caught her eye and she knelt down to pull it out. It was a backpack. Carefully opening it up she looked inside and froze. Lying in the bag was an automatic handgun, an extra pack of bullets, and a knife. She reached in and pulled the gun out, a 6 shot 45 magnum. She instantly knew that, it came naturally but how? Pulling the bullets out she noticed right away that they were for a different gun. She stuffed everything into the front pocket of her sweater and attached the knife in the holster to her pants. For some reason a nagging thought poked at the back of her mind so she grabbed a broken piece of mirror and put that in her pocket as well. She cocked the gun, holding it felt natural, familiar. She looked around again trying to remember anything but not a single thing came to her. How could these things feel so normal and yet she had no idea what she was doing? She walked over to the door and leaned against it listening, there was no sound coming from the other side. She turned the handle slowly, it was unlocked.