What do you think of my song? First draft, just kind of cranked it out...?

X

xsillybearx

New member
No one will ever find us here
All I want is you to love me, and to never disappear
I’ll set my swimsuit down, down
And then follow your footsteps, with the moonlit beach all around
I’ll set my swimsuit down, down
Keeping time with the waves and your embrace
Till I’m washed ashore and I’m crowned

The foolish king;
I’ve repeated my lines to the hundredth degree
Now I’m falling down, down
Wishing you were here
And I wish I were found
Lying here,
Just watching the world all around
If you saw me I think, I think you just might not
Make a sound

Nobody will ever know the truth
How you sipped up my broken blood
Cast me a line, now I’m swallowed up in your false proof
I’ll set my briefcase down, down
And I’ll travel to lands
Like Scottland and France

With the foolish kings;
I’ve repeated my lines to the hundredth degree
Now I’m falling down, down
Wishing you were here
And I wish I were found
Lying here,
Just watching the world all around
If you saw me I think, I think you just might not
Make a sound

Now I’m crashing, crashing, into waves
And I’m falling, falling, into space
I’m missing you, your subtle taste
And I’m setting you down…

I’ve repeated my lines to the hundredth degree,
Now just come back to me
 
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