What do you think of my poetry?

H

Hailey

New member
This poem is called "Tiger Eyes":

Tiger that crawl like fiery cats,
Eyes as black as ink,
Ears curving like petals,
Magnificent colours.
Coal black diving into
Spectacular sunset orange capturing
Unicorn snow white.

Every time I think of them,
A tiger growls in my head.

The end! I wrote that poem in grade 3 with a bit of editing from my English teacher.

Another poem that I wrote. I entered this one for a contest. It's called "Classic Black Keys":

The room is full of
clinking glass and chatter.
Hands start flying across white strings.
The room is silent as a
melancholy melody weaves itself through the air.

The end! Please tell me if you like the poems. To be completely honest, I am a 10 year old girl striving to be a writer. Also, how could I improve them? Thanks.
 
Simply brilliant! And, as I'm so fond of saying, I'm hard to please! Technically, in the first poem, "Tigers that crawl like fiery cats" would make the most sense, as both in that same line and in the next to last, you refer to the plural, but I suppose that is more than made up for by the fact that you were a third grader when it was written. I very much like how the room is "silent" with music in the air - it gives a real feel for the quiet sound of the music, and its effect on the soul.

Oh, yeah, I followed your "Answer Mine?" link, so maybe you'll...

Answer Mine?

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20091216004939AAaoBhN
 
wow!
very descriptive.
i wish i had your talent.
to improve, just keep
on writing....
practice makes perfect! :)
 
Back
Top