What do you think of my poem?

  • Thread starter Thread starter mcvang92
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mcvang92

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please give me some feedback's, negative or positive, how can i make it better? - thanks people


"This Ancient place"

I'm there when the eloquent rooster crows
I'm there when the scorching sun sets
This is where I find my peace
This Ancient Place I will never forget

The steamed rice, the grilled vegetables
The taste is still within me
The behemoth cherry tree, the chirping sparrows
Beneath this place I will always be free

No this place is not paradise
There is no fountain of youth
There is only memories of joy
And the hope of austere truth

In this place I have no adversaries
I even make friends with the gentle mouse
Everyday I look forward to this place
I feel so alive within my grandma's house
 
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