its not done yet.
Mom, I really don't know what to say, or even how to say it. But I just want you to know, this is nothing like me being confused about my sexuality. As I am 100% positive. (Just so you don't ask me later on, I am still not sure of my sexuality.) Ever since I was young, I knew I was different, for example second grade me begging for a short haircut. No, don't get worked up, I'm most definitely not transgender. I guess this is almost sort of like that though. I'm bi-gender. Which just means one day you feel like a girl, and dress in girls clothes, and one day you feel like a boy and dress in boys clothes. Its also been described as a sorta split personality, which I don't get. As I am the same person I've always been. People who are bigender usually do not take hormones or get surgery, because transitioning is not for them. And trust me, I do not plan on taking any sorts of hormones. I've gone through depression, anxiety and confusion within really realizing and coming to terms with myself. I've contemplated being genderqueer which is almost the same thing, except people who are genderqueer usually always dress in the opposite sex clothing. They also sometimes decide to take hormones, or have surgery. I've also contemplated being transgender, which I realized, I couldn't see myself being a physical boy. In case your wondering, this is what my secret yahoo is about, me trying to find myself, which I've been scared and embarrassed to share with you. This is also why I have randomely become extremely girly, I try to hide it.
If you haven't noticed by me pointing out haircuts I liked that are sort of boyish, I don't see how. As I have given many hints. (Ex. Wanting to bind my chest.) And yes, from what I've heard, bigendered people do bind their chest.
I guess I realized that I wasn't another 'girly girl' because my friends were into gossiping, make up, dresses etc. I was into, riding bikes, rollerblading, skateboarding, climbing trees, etc.
And just to add this, it may seem so far that bigendered people cant choose which gender they want to be, but really thats not the case.. We just have a little of both male and female in us.
I'm not quite sure when I will send this, it could be when I'm fifteen, if ever. And I'm really scared just typing it, and I really have read about parent's with transgender, intersexual, bigendered kids get disappointed. Or feel like they've lost their old child. And knowing that could be you, makes it even harder to type this letter.
When I went to Ryan's and we dressed up like boys, binded our chests and everything. I was really happy, and when you asked me which I liked more and I said I don't know, is exactly what I meant. It felt good to dress in those clothes. To have a whole different look, that was a really happy moment for me. But, I couldn't imagine not dressing in girl clothes anymore.
Mom, I really don't know what to say, or even how to say it. But I just want you to know, this is nothing like me being confused about my sexuality. As I am 100% positive. (Just so you don't ask me later on, I am still not sure of my sexuality.) Ever since I was young, I knew I was different, for example second grade me begging for a short haircut. No, don't get worked up, I'm most definitely not transgender. I guess this is almost sort of like that though. I'm bi-gender. Which just means one day you feel like a girl, and dress in girls clothes, and one day you feel like a boy and dress in boys clothes. Its also been described as a sorta split personality, which I don't get. As I am the same person I've always been. People who are bigender usually do not take hormones or get surgery, because transitioning is not for them. And trust me, I do not plan on taking any sorts of hormones. I've gone through depression, anxiety and confusion within really realizing and coming to terms with myself. I've contemplated being genderqueer which is almost the same thing, except people who are genderqueer usually always dress in the opposite sex clothing. They also sometimes decide to take hormones, or have surgery. I've also contemplated being transgender, which I realized, I couldn't see myself being a physical boy. In case your wondering, this is what my secret yahoo is about, me trying to find myself, which I've been scared and embarrassed to share with you. This is also why I have randomely become extremely girly, I try to hide it.
If you haven't noticed by me pointing out haircuts I liked that are sort of boyish, I don't see how. As I have given many hints. (Ex. Wanting to bind my chest.) And yes, from what I've heard, bigendered people do bind their chest.
I guess I realized that I wasn't another 'girly girl' because my friends were into gossiping, make up, dresses etc. I was into, riding bikes, rollerblading, skateboarding, climbing trees, etc.
And just to add this, it may seem so far that bigendered people cant choose which gender they want to be, but really thats not the case.. We just have a little of both male and female in us.
I'm not quite sure when I will send this, it could be when I'm fifteen, if ever. And I'm really scared just typing it, and I really have read about parent's with transgender, intersexual, bigendered kids get disappointed. Or feel like they've lost their old child. And knowing that could be you, makes it even harder to type this letter.
When I went to Ryan's and we dressed up like boys, binded our chests and everything. I was really happy, and when you asked me which I liked more and I said I don't know, is exactly what I meant. It felt good to dress in those clothes. To have a whole different look, that was a really happy moment for me. But, I couldn't imagine not dressing in girl clothes anymore.