I've attempted to have a good relationship w/ my Mother In Law- tried to get to know her, sent her cards for birthdays, Mother's Day, etc. as well as sending gifts that I thought she would like. In return she doesn't ask anything about me or my family (her conversations are about what she and her family members are up to), doesn't say anything about the gifts/cards (she lives across country;her not saying anything makes me wonder if she even got them? I ask my hubby to ask her and she says she did and thanks him), and doesn't say anything on my birthday. She calls hubby and sometimes sends him stuff on his birthday. She's arranged 'birthday' gatherings monthly to celebrate birthdays of those in her large extended family, so it's clear that she acknowledges birthdays. So I'm under the impression that the woman doesn't like me. Given this, please tell me your thoughts on the following 3 things she's done:
1. We had a lot of difficulty trying to conceive our 1st child. During this time I experienced a lot of stress at work and also at school (college). Hubby relayed this to mother-in-law. During this time (I was not yet pregnant), she sent me the book "Women Who Think Too Much"- no note, just the book. Given the extent of our relationship as described above, would you consider this rude and/or mean? 2. Once I got pregnant, she immediately sent a case of 12 wine bottles w/ a note that said "Congratulations! Love Mom and Dad". I've never called either of them "Mom" or "Dad", nor has she indicated that she wants me to do so. Thoughts on this? Felt like gift was for hubby only as I wouldn't be able to drink the stuff for months. My name wasn't on the box, only hubby's. 3. When 7 months pregnant w/ 2nd child she came to visit us from across country. Arrived day of our 5th anniversary and stayed for 3 days. Never wished me or hubby 'happy anniversary' (She knew it was our anniversary b/c she asked if she could come visit on day of our anniversary beforehand) and did not ask me one thing about the pregnancy (had not asked anything prior to the visit or afterwards either). In fact, when hubby called her right after I delivered to relay the news, all she had to say was 'Tell Mary to get well soon" (I had a C section). Thoughts on her behavior in this situation? She is very interested in our two kids, so it's not like she doesn't want to be a grandparent.
1. We had a lot of difficulty trying to conceive our 1st child. During this time I experienced a lot of stress at work and also at school (college). Hubby relayed this to mother-in-law. During this time (I was not yet pregnant), she sent me the book "Women Who Think Too Much"- no note, just the book. Given the extent of our relationship as described above, would you consider this rude and/or mean? 2. Once I got pregnant, she immediately sent a case of 12 wine bottles w/ a note that said "Congratulations! Love Mom and Dad". I've never called either of them "Mom" or "Dad", nor has she indicated that she wants me to do so. Thoughts on this? Felt like gift was for hubby only as I wouldn't be able to drink the stuff for months. My name wasn't on the box, only hubby's. 3. When 7 months pregnant w/ 2nd child she came to visit us from across country. Arrived day of our 5th anniversary and stayed for 3 days. Never wished me or hubby 'happy anniversary' (She knew it was our anniversary b/c she asked if she could come visit on day of our anniversary beforehand) and did not ask me one thing about the pregnancy (had not asked anything prior to the visit or afterwards either). In fact, when hubby called her right after I delivered to relay the news, all she had to say was 'Tell Mary to get well soon" (I had a C section). Thoughts on her behavior in this situation? She is very interested in our two kids, so it's not like she doesn't want to be a grandparent.