Is it too simple?
This is a piece of my book, I changed the characters names in this little snippet.
Cadmius and I set up camp in a clearing. I have gone camping before but not like this. Sometimes it was just my dad and I, and I was really young at the time. Cadmius and I have nothing to sleep on so I know that we will have to sleep on the ground. I don't quite like this fact, I don't want to sleep on the dirty ground if I can help it, but right now I am so tired I don't think it will matter. Cadmius has made a fire for us and left thirty minutes ago to find some meat. I wait patiently for him. The night is cold but the fire is warm. I hear crackling of leaves to my left and turn to see Cadmius walking out of the dark forest. He is carrying a turkey.
"That was so quick." I say amazed. Cadmius ignores me and turns his back to me. He then holds the turkey and with his dagger he starts shaving off the feathers. I feel so insulted. He hasn't spoke to me much since we met. What's his deal? I look down and twiddle my fingers. After about thirty more minutes Cadmius is done cleaning the bird. I can smell the terrible odor of the guts that he spilt out on the ground. He sticks the turkey on the rotisserie and begins to turn it. Soon the sweet smell of cooked meat fills the night air. Cadmius peels of some meat and hands it to me. I realize that we might not get to eat like this for a while again. I think about home. I want to see mom again. I can imagine her walking around in my room picking things up, reminiscing. I feel bad to think that she is probably so worried. I don't want her to be. I think I am fine mom, I have a companion, he is watching over me. I look at Cadmius and then I taste the turkey. Wow, it's delicious! We fill up our stomachs heartily. Cadmius then lays down resting his head on a rock.
"Try to get some sleep, we have to travel four more days to get to Nami." I find a place near the fire to rest my head and I end up laying in dirt. Cadmius wraps his cloak around him and soon goes to sleep. I lay there thinking about my warm cushiony bed and as the fire dies down I think about heating. I wonder if Cadmius does this every night? I wish I could take him to my home and let him sleep there. It is better than this, but then I realize that I am complaining too much. I close my eyes and try to fall asleep.
This is a piece of my book, I changed the characters names in this little snippet.
Cadmius and I set up camp in a clearing. I have gone camping before but not like this. Sometimes it was just my dad and I, and I was really young at the time. Cadmius and I have nothing to sleep on so I know that we will have to sleep on the ground. I don't quite like this fact, I don't want to sleep on the dirty ground if I can help it, but right now I am so tired I don't think it will matter. Cadmius has made a fire for us and left thirty minutes ago to find some meat. I wait patiently for him. The night is cold but the fire is warm. I hear crackling of leaves to my left and turn to see Cadmius walking out of the dark forest. He is carrying a turkey.
"That was so quick." I say amazed. Cadmius ignores me and turns his back to me. He then holds the turkey and with his dagger he starts shaving off the feathers. I feel so insulted. He hasn't spoke to me much since we met. What's his deal? I look down and twiddle my fingers. After about thirty more minutes Cadmius is done cleaning the bird. I can smell the terrible odor of the guts that he spilt out on the ground. He sticks the turkey on the rotisserie and begins to turn it. Soon the sweet smell of cooked meat fills the night air. Cadmius peels of some meat and hands it to me. I realize that we might not get to eat like this for a while again. I think about home. I want to see mom again. I can imagine her walking around in my room picking things up, reminiscing. I feel bad to think that she is probably so worried. I don't want her to be. I think I am fine mom, I have a companion, he is watching over me. I look at Cadmius and then I taste the turkey. Wow, it's delicious! We fill up our stomachs heartily. Cadmius then lays down resting his head on a rock.
"Try to get some sleep, we have to travel four more days to get to Nami." I find a place near the fire to rest my head and I end up laying in dirt. Cadmius wraps his cloak around him and soon goes to sleep. I lay there thinking about my warm cushiony bed and as the fire dies down I think about heating. I wonder if Cadmius does this every night? I wish I could take him to my home and let him sleep there. It is better than this, but then I realize that I am complaining too much. I close my eyes and try to fall asleep.