What do u think of my poem?

  • Thread starter Thread starter ℓαηα ×
  • Start date Start date
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ℓαηα ×

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Her Baby Blue Eyes:

"Her baby blue eyes
Shine in the light
Her tears trickle down
Her cheeks as she cries

She looks at her arm
Sees the marks that shes made
She cries once again
And reaches for the blade

She hurts too much
She needs to escape
The knife is her saviour
She wants to be saved

She makes a few slits
And smiles inside
She feels the relief
And closes her eyes

She hears the footsteps
And pulls at her sleeves
She walks out the room
Scars never to be seen"

How much how of ten do u rate it?

How could I make it better?
 
You could Improve by using more Punctuality and More Good Words. Instead of Slit, What about Slice? I could go on forever. Plus its Pretty Depressing poem what is good. But i'd give you a 7 or 8 out of 10 Due to you needs to improve on Key Features!
 
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