What could be done to bring this villanelle up to par?

bones

New member
There's few things in this life we choose
Instead we're chosen by those things
If we think otherwise we lose.
Alas, but this is hardly news
All things we cherish have their strings...
There's few things in this life we choose.
Why is this so? Where are some clues?
Is all life but a nest of stings?
If we think otherwise we lose.
Too oft I've pined for my sweet muse
But ah, the torment that she brings...
There's few things in this life we choose.
She lives, I think, but to abuse
The lonely heart that to her clings.
If we think otherwise we lose.
Once for sweet verse I'd so enthuse
But then I learned her hurts and slings...
There's few things in this life we choose,
If we think otherwise we lose.
 
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