My boyfriend is very ashamed and contrite after rough sex (asphyxiation, anal, hitting. but not life threatening. mostly on him) and he doesn't like being touched after. He is not embarrassed of his 'size' or 'performance' but he is more ashamed of what we did earlier during sex.
He was sexually abused when he was younger and had treatment for it, along with his mania and depression. He IS a bit loony. He suffers from acute anxiety and some obsessive compulsive tenancies like washing his hands till they scab and dry out beyond belief.
He might be going though regression, I assume. But why would he be let out of the hospital if he wasn't 'fixed'.
He had a lot of self destructive tendencies before going to a psyche hospital. Like, cutting, banging his wrists and picking at the skin--which is kind of OCD. He is a recovering alcoholic and drug addict (mostly coke and heroin)-sober for about a year now. He doesn't have any desire to go back to drugs and alcoholic, although he tells me he still thinks of himself as addicted.
Also, while in the loony bin he was reluctant to treatment; he didn't talk for a good 3 months. I do not think he wants to be rid of the asphyxiation and anal fetishes, and I don't want to either because I like them too.
I was just wondering if he would be able to be more content with his sexuality without getting rid of the fetishes, also what causes the shame, if there is anything other than that...
I would like a medical student's or doctor's opinion, or if you have suffered from this, yourself.
I have already set up couples sex therapy but we wont get in for a couple months.
I do NOT plan on leaving him 'for a better guy' because he is the better guy. I can put up with the other things. He is kind and loving toward me, and he is not a bad person. He doesn't hit me or yell at me, and it isn't an abusive. I have been with him for a long time, and we are expecting a baby in 3 months. Now, I know it is not right to bring a baby into our life right now but it was a 'miracle', I'm unable to have babies because my uterus is weak. This baby, however stuck long enough to become a fetus. Our relationship is healthy, as healthy as it can be with all of his mental disorders. Again, I do not mind his anxieties because it makes me feel like Im not the only one who gets scared. And I like his OCD because I like telling him to go put some lotion on or something...
I guess you could say I wear the pants... I dont cook or anything, he does, and he usually cleans. But I don't have over-ruling ways.
Our previous therapists have said we are a good 'fit' for each other and there is no reason to end the relationship unless he beings to use drugs again or something happens...
He was sexually abused when he was younger and had treatment for it, along with his mania and depression. He IS a bit loony. He suffers from acute anxiety and some obsessive compulsive tenancies like washing his hands till they scab and dry out beyond belief.
He might be going though regression, I assume. But why would he be let out of the hospital if he wasn't 'fixed'.
He had a lot of self destructive tendencies before going to a psyche hospital. Like, cutting, banging his wrists and picking at the skin--which is kind of OCD. He is a recovering alcoholic and drug addict (mostly coke and heroin)-sober for about a year now. He doesn't have any desire to go back to drugs and alcoholic, although he tells me he still thinks of himself as addicted.
Also, while in the loony bin he was reluctant to treatment; he didn't talk for a good 3 months. I do not think he wants to be rid of the asphyxiation and anal fetishes, and I don't want to either because I like them too.
I was just wondering if he would be able to be more content with his sexuality without getting rid of the fetishes, also what causes the shame, if there is anything other than that...
I would like a medical student's or doctor's opinion, or if you have suffered from this, yourself.
I have already set up couples sex therapy but we wont get in for a couple months.
I do NOT plan on leaving him 'for a better guy' because he is the better guy. I can put up with the other things. He is kind and loving toward me, and he is not a bad person. He doesn't hit me or yell at me, and it isn't an abusive. I have been with him for a long time, and we are expecting a baby in 3 months. Now, I know it is not right to bring a baby into our life right now but it was a 'miracle', I'm unable to have babies because my uterus is weak. This baby, however stuck long enough to become a fetus. Our relationship is healthy, as healthy as it can be with all of his mental disorders. Again, I do not mind his anxieties because it makes me feel like Im not the only one who gets scared. And I like his OCD because I like telling him to go put some lotion on or something...
I guess you could say I wear the pants... I dont cook or anything, he does, and he usually cleans. But I don't have over-ruling ways.
Our previous therapists have said we are a good 'fit' for each other and there is no reason to end the relationship unless he beings to use drugs again or something happens...