This is kind of a 2 part question.
1) My friend and her daughter whom i adore always want to come visit with me and my family, but they don't want to just visit, they want to spend days at our home (which causes a rift between my husband and I). I don't really mind about them coming and spending a night here and there, however the child is going through a phase where she is testing other people's limits and does things that she knows is wrong but does them anyway. Example: My niece gave my daughter a doll that was once mine, so this doll is almost 30 years old. The child in question wanted to play with her and I told her she could, I looked over at her in 10 minutes and she had colored with markers all over the doll, ruining it. She has also colored on our walls and the mother might have said "stop" but never followed thru with any actions to let the girl know that it wasn't okay. I don't feel as if it's my place to step in and discipline the child because I don't want to lose my friend or have her upset with me, but I can't have my husband upset with me either. What should I do?
Part 2) My husband's sister has a child and was the only grandchild on his side of the family until we had ours, so obviously now that the spotlight has to be shared, she's pea green with envy. (And somewhat rightfully so) But she is "acting out" and noone seems to say anything to her so at family functions, things are very awkward because we now dread going to them.... It's not just my husband and I who find this annoying, it's all of the aunts/uncles.... just not the parents of the child and certainly not the grandparents. Is there even anything that can be done about this, or am I supposed to go over every weekend and smile as if I'm having a great time?
1) My friend and her daughter whom i adore always want to come visit with me and my family, but they don't want to just visit, they want to spend days at our home (which causes a rift between my husband and I). I don't really mind about them coming and spending a night here and there, however the child is going through a phase where she is testing other people's limits and does things that she knows is wrong but does them anyway. Example: My niece gave my daughter a doll that was once mine, so this doll is almost 30 years old. The child in question wanted to play with her and I told her she could, I looked over at her in 10 minutes and she had colored with markers all over the doll, ruining it. She has also colored on our walls and the mother might have said "stop" but never followed thru with any actions to let the girl know that it wasn't okay. I don't feel as if it's my place to step in and discipline the child because I don't want to lose my friend or have her upset with me, but I can't have my husband upset with me either. What should I do?
Part 2) My husband's sister has a child and was the only grandchild on his side of the family until we had ours, so obviously now that the spotlight has to be shared, she's pea green with envy. (And somewhat rightfully so) But she is "acting out" and noone seems to say anything to her so at family functions, things are very awkward because we now dread going to them.... It's not just my husband and I who find this annoying, it's all of the aunts/uncles.... just not the parents of the child and certainly not the grandparents. Is there even anything that can be done about this, or am I supposed to go over every weekend and smile as if I'm having a great time?