Kiwi is my bird-o
New member
Me and my fiancee are getting married next October. We have discussed children (we both want them, a few years after were married, and I will be a stay at home mom, as we both feel a traditional family structure is the best way to raise kids). We already have a pretty seamless financial plan, which we worked out before we ever moved in together. It has worked well for us for years, is changeable as life changes, and is fair to both of us. We have also discussed how finances will change after we have kids and I stop working. Neither of us have any debts, we paid for college as we went (which took much longer to finish), we paid for our shared car cash, we haven't bought anything ever on credit, and we don't have credit cards. We set up a high yield savings account a few years ago, so we have a good chunk of money waiting for a down payment on a house when we're ready for one. We both carry health insurance, have car insurance, and renter's insurance. Our wedding will be small, and we can more than afford to pay for it up front, without having to make payments. We have discussed our individual future goals, and touched on the subject of a retirement fund. We work out our disagreements respectfully and productively and never ever go to bed mad (a bit of advice from my parents, who have been happily married for 37 years).
I think we have the big issues in life covered, finances, children, future goals. We're going into this debt-free, so we won't have to worry about that. We love each other, and we can work through anything life throws at us (we started dating when we were both at the lowest points of our lives and worked up from there together, which wasn't easy, but we made it). We just wanted to hear some advice from both sides, those who have been happily married for years and those who got divorced. You can learn as much from other peoples mistakes as their successes. This is a HUGE step for us, and we want to make sure in the remaining months before our wedding to iron out anything else that may become a big issue later on. What other types of things that we haven't discussed should we before we tie the knot?
Thanks
We do know things change and don't always go as planned. But we just want to start out with a good framework so we can build on it and focus more on a happy marriage than stupid little things.
On the subject of religion and children (or in general), he was raised in the Potters House (a Christian church), and I was raise Catholic. Both of us lost all faith in going to church over the years. You don't have to sit in a building with a hundred other people on Sunday to find God, pray or have faith. Both of us believe that. Our children will be raised on that basis, and if when their older they want to attend a particular church, or become a particular religion, that will be their decision.
I think we have the big issues in life covered, finances, children, future goals. We're going into this debt-free, so we won't have to worry about that. We love each other, and we can work through anything life throws at us (we started dating when we were both at the lowest points of our lives and worked up from there together, which wasn't easy, but we made it). We just wanted to hear some advice from both sides, those who have been happily married for years and those who got divorced. You can learn as much from other peoples mistakes as their successes. This is a HUGE step for us, and we want to make sure in the remaining months before our wedding to iron out anything else that may become a big issue later on. What other types of things that we haven't discussed should we before we tie the knot?
Thanks
We do know things change and don't always go as planned. But we just want to start out with a good framework so we can build on it and focus more on a happy marriage than stupid little things.
On the subject of religion and children (or in general), he was raised in the Potters House (a Christian church), and I was raise Catholic. Both of us lost all faith in going to church over the years. You don't have to sit in a building with a hundred other people on Sunday to find God, pray or have faith. Both of us believe that. Our children will be raised on that basis, and if when their older they want to attend a particular church, or become a particular religion, that will be their decision.