what are some good stand up topics?what is a good way to open a sketch?

  • Thread starter Thread starter Antony C
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Antony C

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i have some topics,what are some really good ones?
and also,what is a good way to open a comedy sketch?

some lines i have so far are-
Did you know that George W. is the first time that man has turned away from a bush?
The last time we saw numbers as low as George Bush's approval rating,was Barack Obama's bowling score.
Roger Clemens was in the news a couple weeks ago,for allegations that he dated a 15 year old in his late 20's-you can imagine what was going through his mind when the Miley Cyrus scandal hit the news.Forget roid rage,does this mean we'll have to look for him on Megan's Law?
Britney Spears had some new friends in a therapy session today,all the women from the Elliot Spitzer scandal.

those are some of the topics,what other ones could i use?
 
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