i have orgasm during sex almost every time. i have spent lots of time getting to know my own body. the best that works for me is to be relaxed. oral back and forth, him then me, then back, a little spooning, get out the virbator for my clit(clit very important, very very important) some with you on top, some with you on the bottom, my favorite i save for last me on my tummy with him behind, vibrator on clit, i come WITH(yes with him) almost every time...
get to know your vagina on your own time and you will be rewarded...spoil yourself...have a shower or bath and climb into bed with a fantasy and a vibrator
*sidenote: lube very important*