well, for those who care, here is yet another poem.?

Mr.Observant

New member
hahaha, this is my old stuff, feel free to be critical.

A young man panics
Lamenting over these vile tricks
Yet he know it’s needed
Even though against it his soul has pleaded

In a rush he tumbles
Face first into a clump of brambles
A horrific scream of pain
Pierced the drum of rain

In a rush he continues
To staunch the bleeding he uses tissues
The forest is getting thicker
As he curses his heartless tricker

At last he arrives at the forest edge
Only to find it was a sheer ledge
All his effort was for naught
And in result he becomes distraught

No-one knows what happened next
But if you look into the text
You may find
The answers playing on your mind


to me, it ends a little abruptly

could have been longer if i wasnt dead tired. (yet another 3 am writing session)
 
I loved it! The picture was very clear in my head. You're good at making readers visualise the scenes and images. But the thing is, why is he panicking? What is he running away from? Sorry if I'm being really stupid. :/
 
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